You’re a good person who’s always ready to help and support others, but are people in your life taking advantage of your kindness? It’s not on! Although you might not expect your friend or partner to do something like this, they could be doing it in a sneaky way. Check out these 15 signs that someone is taking advantage of your good nature so you can stop giving so much and quit being their doormat.
1. They Always Need Something From You.
Whether you’re on a girls’ weekend away or you’re chilling together on the couch, your friend always says she needs something from you. It might be a ride to work the next day or advice about her loser boyfriend, but there’s always something. It’s exhausting. You might even dread seeing their name pop up on your phone.
2. They’re Around When They Need Something.
Have you noticed that your friend is around you more when they need something or they’re going through a tough time? Then, when things pick up, you don’t hear from them as much. Hmmm. Is it even a real friendship if it feels like they’re only around when it’s convenient for them? No!
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4. They Don’t Respect Your Time.
When your friend needs to talk to you about her rocky relationship or narcissistic boss, she can go on and on for hours. While that’s okay ’cause you want to support your friend, it’s not cool if she has no respect at all for things you have to do or beauty sleep you’re desperate for ’cause you’re so tired. Ugh.
5. They Make You Feel Like Their Personal Psychologist.
Does it feel like your BF, friend, or sister always turns to you when they need help but treats you like you’re their psychologist on call 24-7? While it’s a compliment that they feel they can confide in you and trust you, it’s not fair if they leave you feeling depleted every time. They’re showing toxic signs.
6. They Never Show Gratitude.
When you help your friend plan an event or you give your BF gas money, do they thank you? Do they show their appreciation, or not even flinch at how much you’re helping them? If it’s the latter, it’s not cool and boundaries are in order ASAP so they stop taking such advantage of you.
7. They Never Return The Favor.
Not only do they not show gratitude when you go the extra mile for them, but it’s clear you’re the better friend or partner because they’re never prepared to help you. When you run out of money or need a shoulder to cry on, you can’t rely on them. This friendship or relationship is completely one-sided.
8. They Expect You To Help Out.
Your friend says she’s gonna need a ride to work the next day or your BF says he’s gonna need some extra cash again, and they say it without even asking if you’d be kind enough to help – or if you have the resources to help out. Geez, it’s like they’re so used to you helping them out that they just expect it. SMH.
9. They Put You In A Bad Mood.
Maybe sometimes your friend doesn’t want anything from you, but spending time with them still feels so tiring or it puts you in a crappy mood. Yikes. Maybe they’re an emotional vampire who’s draining you of your life force. Or, they’re just a selfish person.
10. They Go AWOL After You’ve Helped Them.
While the person blows up your phone with texts when they need something from you, they might go away for ages once you’ve given them what they want. SMH. Don’t be surprised when they don’t reply to your texts for hours or days at a time, you can never get hold of them, or they reply to your texts but don’t initiate contact.
11. They Don’t Ask, “How Are You?”
People who take advantage of you are selfish. They’ll call you up and ramble on about their lives or ask you for advice they want, but they won’t care to ask you how you’re doing or how your day was. It’s mad! You’ll end the call and feel like you’re a robot, not a person.
12. They’re Only Keen For Their Hangouts.
You want to hang out with your friend or the new guy you’re dating on the weekend, but they can only see you on Friday night. It seems things always go this way, with them choosing when it’s convenient for them to see you. Sometimes, they also drop spontaneous outings on you and will sulk when you aren’t available. It’s all about them!
13. They Promise You Everything and Give You Nothing.
Your friend who takes advantage of you knows how to talk your head off about how they’re always there for you and you can rely on them. But these are just pretty words. When things happen and you need them to step up, their actions don’t match their empty promises. Ugh. So, when your friend’s praising you and how important you are to her, you’ve got to wonder if it’s all a fake act.
14. They Make You Feel Like You’re Not Good Enough.
Part of the toxicity of being around someone who takes advantage of your kindness is that they’ll strive to put you down. They should be building you up and making you feel good, but they’re doing the opposite. What the heck? They’ll compare you to other friends of theirs or pass negative comments on how you could be a better friend. It’s a part of their game to make you feel you have to do more for them.
15. They Put You In Charge.
Your friend is quick to put you in charge of organizing the girls’ weekend away. Or, they’ll tell you that you’ve got to make reservations for dinner. Woah. It feels like you’re the person’s PA, not their friend. You were kind enough to organize something once and now you’re the designated planner of the group. Not cool!
16. They Push Your Boundaries.
Your friend knows you can’t let her stay over because your cats don’t like being around other people, but she still gets drunk and passes out on your couch. Your BF knows you don’t like camping, but that’s the holiday he organizes for your anniversary. They’re always stepping over your boundaries because they think your kindness will cause you to cave and go along with what they want. When they hear “no,” it’s an opportunity for them to try harder or play the victim to get their way. It’s so disrespectful!
