Having a partner that loves, supports, and encourages you to be your best self is what everyone wants, but sometimes you might find yourself with someone who manages to get on every last nerve or easily pushes you to become a version of yourself that you don’t like or recognize. If you notice these signs, it may be time to accept that the guy you like is bad for you.
- You neglect other relationships because of him. It’s natural for you to spend a lot of time together as a couple, but you shouldn’t spend all your time together. If you keep canceling girls night or some other activity with friends, coworkers, and family just so you can devote all your attention to him, that’s not a healthy relationship. If he wants the best for you, he’s going to help you maintain other relationships that are important to you instead of asking or encouraging you to ignore them.
- You’re constantly exhausted. Being in a relationship takes work, but that shouldn’t be all there is to it. When you’re always arguing, worrying about how your partner will react, or juggling responsibilities that you wouldn’t have if not for him, then there’s a problem. Suddenly, you can’t seem to meet work deadlines anymore or find the time to do the things you love. The wrong relationship will drain your energy. It will take and take from you until you have nothing to give to yourself.
- He doesn’t support your goals. Whenever you talk to him about your career or aspirations, he seems uninterested or makes you feel like you’re stupid for trying. You tell him that you want to cut down your alcohol intake but he keeps taking you to bars for date night and pushing you to have one more drink. What you want is a guy who can respect your decisions and goals and will do his best to help you make it a reality.
- The most trivial things make you lose your head. When you’re with someone who brings out the worst in you, everything he does just pushes you over the edge. He could forget to turn off the television at night and you’d immediately start seeing red and screaming bloody murder. Seeing him talking to other women turns you into a jealous, raging, insecure mess. Most of the time you can’t even explain why you’re mad or acting out of character, you just know that it has something to do with him.
- He encourages your bad habits. If your guy has the same vices as you, he might not be interested in seeing you change because that might mean he’d have to change too. You need a guy who wants to see you improve and helps you do so, not one who fuels your bad habits. It might not seem like a big deal at first, but over time, his outright or subtle endorsement of your bad habits can prevent you from growing.
- You feel less like yourself around them. Do people tell you that you’re a different person around your partner? Do you feel like you have to walk on eggshells with him? Is there an awkwardness that won’t go away? Are you constantly saying things you don’t mean or that you come to regret whenever you have a conversation with him? If you have a hard time showing him who you really are, that’s a clear sign that he doesn’t bring out your best side. A guy who brings out the best in you will make you feel more like yourself and not like you need to suppress your true personality.
- You’ve become jealous of everything. I’m a person who is rarely ever jealous, but when I was with my ex I felt that way almost all the time. Whenever he was away from me, spending time with his friends, traveling for work, using his phone too much, I’d have this intense wave of pain and confusion build up inside me. It wasn’t so much that I worried he would cheat, I just felt bad about myself and the relationship and it made it hate the idea that he’d dare to be happy without me. If you’ve suddenly become driven by jealousy, that’s a sign that he’s bad news for you.
- You’re always trying to get the upper hand. Love is not a power struggle or a competition. If you find yourself trying scheming or intentionally doing things to make your partner feel smaller than you or unloved, that’s not a healthy sign. If you’re not comfortable with compromising once in a while because you think it’ll give him some kind of power over you, then you shouldn’t be with him.
- Your fights are ugly. Every couple argues from time to time. It’s a normal thing. It only becomes a problem when you feel like you have to lie, throw insults around, scream at the top of your voice, break things, or even get physically violent before you can get heard. This means that he doesn’t value your voice or believe in effective communication, or you’re resentful of him and hurt him as much as you can. Whatever the reason, it’s a sign that he brings out the worst in you.