Love is messy, and sometimes you meet someone you like who happens to already be in a relationship with someone else. Suddenly, you become the other woman in a relationship, living in hope that the guy will leave his girlfriend for you. Sometimes he does and sometimes he doesn’t, but the waiting and indecision can be what kills you. While you should never settle for second fiddle, here are some signs he means what he says when he tells you he sees a future with you, not her.
- He keeps making time for you. When a guy has a girlfriend and you happen to be the side piece that he’s trying to juggle, it’s not always easy for him to make time for you. It’s not like he can tell his girlfriend that there’s someone else. But if he keeps finding ways to see you and it’s not just to have sex, that’s a good sign. When the effort isn’t there, it means he’s fine settling for the status quo. When he somehow manages to prioritize you, that’s a positive sign.
- Things have moved beyond sex. If you think sex alone is going to get a guy to leave his girlfriend for someone else, think again. If all you’re doing is sleeping together, he isn’t breaking up with his partner. If the relationship has moved past that into something more resembling a couple, he’ll at least have to consider swapping his current paramour for you.
- He’s vulnerable around you. Even if he’s single, this is a great sign that he’s interested in you. Guys almost always choose the person they feel comfortable talking to, so when you start having intimate conversations, it’s a sign that this is more than a fling and that he truly values your thoughts, feelings, and opinions.
- He wants to cement your future plans. Again, single or taken, talking about his future is always a sign that he’s serious about you. If he’s making future plans with you or just talking about the two of you months or years from now, there’s a chance you’ll be together for the long term. Guys don’t typically talk about those things by accident.
- He doesn’t try to hide you. We all know that affairs happen behind closed doors. If that’s the case and everything you do is hidden from the public, there’s a good chance that’s all you’ll ever be. But that changes when it’s clear he’s not afraid to be seen with you in public. He might even mention you on social media. He isn’t going to do this for a fling that will probably be over soon. Once he’s cool taking your relationship out in public, it means he’s not afraid of his girlfriend finding out and is at least open to dumping her and making you his girlfriend.
- He doesn’t mention his girlfriend. This seems weird, right? But not talking about the elephant in the room is actually a good thing, especially if he’s ignoring her texts and calls when you’re together. It means that the time you spend together is about you, not about him complaining about her. When a guy does this, it means that he’s not just itching to leave his girlfriend and you happen to be there. Instead, he genuinely likes you and wants to be with you regardless of his relationship with his current partner.
- He’s never out of touch. If you’re just his mistress, he’ll always have excuses for why he’s out of touch. Trust me, guys are great at making excuses. However, it’s different if a guy is always in contact with you and can’t go a day without calling or texting. It shows that his feelings are serious and that he wants you to be his girlfriend, even if he’s still stuck in a different relationship.
- If you need him, he’s there. Even if he’s in a relationship with someone else, a guy who’s serious about you will always be there when you need him. If that’s the case, he’ll surely be willing to leave his girlfriend for you. It shows that this is more than a fling and that he’s serious about wanting to be with you.
- He calls you his best friend. Obviously, being a guy’s best friend isn’t the same as being his girlfriend, but it can be a start. He might call you his best friend because he knows he can’t call you his girlfriend right now. However, you can think of it as a gateway title. The more important thing is how he treats you. If he calls you his best friend but treats you like a girlfriend, he has at least some interest in leaving his girlfriend to be with you.