In this world of swipes and likes, finding love can sometimes seem like a hopeless cause. It only makes sense that when you’ve got a taste of it, you might be a little desperate to hang on to love at all costs. While it’s true that the greatest kinds of love do require some measure of sacrifice, there are some things that should never find themselves on the chopping block for the sake of keeping someone in your bed. If it costs you this much, you’re better off holding onto what’s good for you, rather than giving these things up for love.
This is one thing that a lot of us are afraid of expressing, because we’ve been told over and over again that it turns guys off. Well, screw that noise, because you’ve got every right to be ambitious in your life. Ambition isn’t just for men, and anyone who thinks it’s unattractive in a woman isn’t worth the time or energy to educate otherwise.
A girl’s gotta have ‘em. You don’t need to hang on to impossibly high standards, like “must speak Mandarin” or “knows how to fix cars” (hey, that’s asking a lot of some people). But you should always have some standards that never change. They’re unique to you and what you want to bring into your life, or how you want to be treated. Don’t let those go in the face of something promising in the romantic department. It won’t be worth it if you have to forget your standards to be with them.
There’s nothing wrong with learning how to do new things together, or joining in with some of their favorite activities. In fact, that’s part of what makes new relationships so fun. But if you feel like you have to give up everything that you love to do for fun, that’s not a trade-off you should be making.
Your sense of humor.
If a guy has ever felt threatened by your sense of humor, hello, come join my support group. One thing you should never have to do is tamp down how hilarious you are for the sake of some dude’s insecurities! Go on making everyone around you laugh and leave the dudes who don’t like it in the dust.
You shouldn’t have to give up your close friendships in order to make a relationship work. If they’re jealous that you’re friendly with other guys, that’s automatically a bad sign! And if they don’t like you spending time with your female friends either, you’ve got a serious problem. Obviously you’re going to need to spend a little less time out with your pals in order to be in a relationship, but there’s a balance, and you know in your heart what that is.
Are you a vegetarian? Do you love hot sauce on your popcorn? Keep whatever weird or unique quirks you like, because they’re all part of what make you unique. You don’t need to shelve your particular tastes at the door to keep someone else happy.
Sure, you’ve got commitments that you may want to break in order to spend time with a new, budding relationship. But if they’re demanding increasingly more amounts of time, you’re allowed to walk away. You are the keeper of your time, and you know how much of it you need to yourself.
Seriously, this one’s a biggie. If you can’t keep your phone password to yourself or they’re always sneaking onto your facebook, that’s not something you need to take. Your privacy is more important than any chance at a lasting relationship (and who’d want one with someone who doesn’t give it to you, anyway?).
It’s not wrong to want to be agreeable, but there’s nothing in the handbook that says your opinions have to fly out the window at the first hint of love. They’re your opinions! Don’t give in to the temptation to pretend like you don’t have them, because that’s not something you need to give up to keep a man happy. Plus, he should be attracted to you precisely because you’re opinionated, not because you’re a doormat.
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