If You’re Not Finding Love, You Need To Ask Yourself These Questions

It’s hard not to get frustrated sometimes by your single status, especially if you can barely remember the last time you were in a relationship, let alone had an OK date. It makes total sense that you’re still on your own if you haven’t met anyone recently that you hit it off with, but there could be other reasons you haven’t found love just yet — and you might want to ask yourself a few questions.

  1. Are you really ready to give up the single life? Sometimes you think you want love because your life has gotten kind of boring lately. Maybe you really do adore the single lifestyle and don’t want to say goodbye just yet. That’s totally OK — why don’t you chill until you’re actually ready to date?
  2. Can you actually see yourself with a boyfriend? Boyfriends can lift you up and make your life a million times more fun. It’s great to feel like you have someone special who is always on your side, but maybe you’re enjoying being by yourself and can’t picture yourself in something serious right now.
  3. Will you freak out if someone wants to be with you? When you’ve been alone for a while, it can be super scary to meet a cool guy who wants to date you. You realize you have to open yourself up to a new person and that you’re not interested in that right now. It’s better to figure that out sooner rather than later or you’ll risk hurting someone.
  4. Are you even trying to date? Just having an OkCupid or Tinder account won’t do much for you if you don’t actually use it. You can’t just sit back and wait for your life to happen to you. If you’re not taking the time to send out messages and make the first move, you might not want to date at all.
  5. Do you hate everyone? Sounds crazy, but it’s a real problem: sometimes you expect every date to be so bad that you go in with a crappy attitude. It’s a self-defeating prophecy that makes you feel like you hate every guy you meet.
  6. Do you ignore post-date texts? You claim you want a boyfriend, and yet every time a guy texts you after the first date, wanting to see you again, you ignore him because he didn’t fit your idea of the perfect guy. Of course, sometimes you’re just into him, but if you keep doing this, you might be into staying single a little bit longer.
  7. Do guys think you’re stuck up? If you never give anyone a chance, you might be giving off a bitchy vibe on your first dates or even when chatting online, and that’s not exactly what you want. You might have zero idea that you’re acting like you’re better than everyone.
  8. Why do you want love? Some people prefer to keep their life simple and don’t want to make the effort to find love. To each their own. If you’re not finding love, ask yourself why you even want it. If you truly want that sense of comfort and a companion to share your life with, you’re on the right track, so just keep doing what you’re doing and trust that love will come your way.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.