9 Times You Need To Put Yourself Out There & Take Some Risks In Your Love Life

9 Times You Need To Put Yourself Out There & Take Some Risks In Your Love Life ©iStock/Neustockimages

Love is complicated, there’s no doubt about that — but keeping your feelings to yourself isn’t helping anyone. If you know what you want and need, you need to go after it. Heartbreak’s a crappy business, but if you ever want to win the game of love, you’re going to need to be a little bold.

  1. When you’re waiting for a guy to ask you out. Just pluck up the courage and do it yourself. If you’re interested in him, then why not make the first move? What’s the worst that could happen? He rejects you? Big deal. Rejection is a part of life, so learn to take it in stride — if he doesn’t bite, another fish will.
  2. When you want a commitment. You shouldn’t have to wait around hoping and praying for what you want in a relationship. You have to tell him what you want or else he’ll never know. As much as you want him to, he can’t read your mind, so stop waiting for him to get a clue and just solve the mystery for him.
  3. When he’s not making an effort. You can’t be the one doing all the work. He needs to carry his fair share of the load, and if he’s not then you need to say something. If he doesn’t know there’s a problem, he can’t fix it. You’re not nagging him, you’re telling him what you need, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
  4. When you’re not happy with your current relationship. It’s hard to break up with a guy you still want and love, but if you’re unhappy, then the relationship just isn’t worth it. Being alone might sound scary, but eventually you’ll find someone even better. You want a healthy and happy relationship, so don’t settle for anything less.
  5. When you’re only interested in sex. Telling him what you want is so much better than leading him on. Don’t be a hypocrite. You would want that same respect from a guy if you were in his shoes. You have just as much right to want sex as a man does, so don’t be afraid to go after exactly what you want.
  6. When he’s treating you like crap. You shouldn’t just stand by and let him walk all over you. Tell him how you feel and put him in his place. He’s taking advantage of your love and you can’t stand for that. You deserve better and once you start to believe that, he’ll believe it too.
  7. When you’re breaking up with him. Whether you no longer love him or he’s just not giving you what you need, he deserves an explanation. No one should be left wondering why after a breakup. The truth might hurt, but in the end it’s more comforting than a lie. Honesty gives closure, but lies will keep him holding on. Let him down easy, but don’t shy away from the truth.
  8. When you don’t want to be his friend. You broke up and you’re still heartbroken, but now he’s asking you if you can stay friends. Saying “yes” sounds like the nice thing to do, but in reality you need to start looking out for yourself. Not wanting to be friends with your ex doesn’t make you a bitch. You need to do what’s best for you regardless of what other people think, so if being his friend would make you unhappy, then the answer to his question is a hard “no.”
  9. When your girls are taking over your love life. Your friends will always be there to pick you up when you’re down. You should be grateful to them for that and for looking out for you. That being said, while they’re entitled to their opinions, they can’t make your decisions for you. A guy should never give you an ultimatum, but your girls shouldn’t ask you to choose between him or them either. At the end of the day it’s your life, not theirs.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.