Relationships take work even in the best of circumstances, so encountering roadblocks at one point or another with your boyfriend is not only normal, but it’s to be expected. That doesn’t mean you’re going to break up — you just have to be smart about things. Here are some of the most common relationship roadblocks and how to hopefully get past them with ease:
- Having different interests. So, you fell head over heels for him and then realized that you don’t actually have that much in common, after all. This can actually be a great thing, because you don’t want to date your clone. Having different interests mean that you can learn new things from each other… and get plenty of time apart to do your thing alone or with other people who are into the same things.
- Not wanting to talk things through. Everyone has moments where avoiding something sounds more appealing than talking about it, but that’s not going to get you very far in a relationship. Most things are scarier when left unsaid, so getting past that hump into normal communication territory just takes committing to the habit. He should be willing to open up if he wants to keep you around.
- Losing your sense of self. If you spend all of your time with your boyfriend, you might one day realize that there are parts of you that feel lost or compromised in some way. It happens, but you shouldn’t continue going down that path or you’ll lose your mind. Take stock of what you’re missing and go get it back.
- Not being present. All we really have is the present moment, and throwing that away in a relationship is one of the easiest ways to create distance that can lead to divide. That’s exactly why so many people pull back emotionally when they’re preparing to end a relationship — the space starts to do it for them. Commit to being there when you’re together and you’ll cut down on a lot of potential issues stemming from lack of intimacy.
- Assuming the lows are a bad thing. Relationships can be frightening even when they’re exhilarating, so the low points can feel downright dangerous. But like anything else, there have to be ebbs and flows because it isn’t possible to remain in a static space when living people with emotions are involved. Don’t panic when something goes wrong, unless it stays wrong (which is another story altogether).
- Having issues in the bedroom. One thing that makes romantic relationships different than friendships for most people is the fact that they want to have sex with the person they’re with. So when a couple doesn’t see eye to eye on that subject, it can be tough and feel more like rejection than it actually is. The important thing here is to communicate so that neither party gets the chance to make assumptions about what the other person is thinking, and then be willing to compromise. Both of you need to feel comfortable and fulfilled, so finding a middle ground is always key.
