A Guy Shares Subtle Signs You’re Dating A Player

When you’re dating a new guy, there are clear signs that he’s not solely interested in you. However, experienced players will be a little better at hiding their underhanded behavior, meaning you’ll have to read between the lines a bit more and keep an eye peeled for more subtle hints that his intentions aren’t all that pure. Here are some signs that you’re dating a player who’s good at covering his tracks.

  1. He’s only nice in private. Ladies, you should always pay attention to how a guy treats you in public and private settings. In public, a player won’t want to send any outward signals to the world that you two are an official couple but when you’re alone, he’ll be more likely to shower you with attention and affection. He’ll know that will get him into your good graces and perhaps even your bedroom, which is exactly what he wants.
  2. He wants to see you on weeknights. Most players will use the weekends to go out and try to meet new people. It’s a numbers game to them, so they want to meet as many people as possible. If he asks you out on a date, he’ll aim for a weeknight when places are less crowded. He also knows you’ll likely go to bed earlier, so the night will end sooner (if you know what I mean). On the contrary, a guy who’s actually interested in dating you and building something will usually stick to the routine of weekend dates.
  3. He doesn’t explain why he’s too busy to see you. Of course, it’s one thing when a guy can only see you on weeknights, but it’s another thing when he doesn’t have a good reason. Look, we all have busy lives and we’re not always available, but he should at least have a good excuse for why he can’t see you. Most players typically don’t feel the need to explain why they’re only available at a certain time. If he doesn’t offer an explanation when he says he’s too busy, he’s probably a player who has something to hide.
  4. He makes negative comments about his exes. It’s almost never a good sign when a guy talks trash about his exes. One ex maybe, but if there are multiple former problematic girlfriends, that’s a red flag. If he’s had issues with lots of relationships in the past, it means he’s the common denominator. Plus, if he keeps saying bad things about his exes, it’s also a sign that he doesn’t have a ton of respect for women, which is the sign of a player.
  5. He’s unemotional. To be fair, very few guys are willing to open up emotionally early in relationships, but the guy you’re dating should at least be a little excited and engaged when spending time with you. That doesn’t always happen with players because they tend to be only concerned with themselves. In other words, they’re even less emotional than the average guy.
  6. He evades direct questions. Players always seem to have something to hide. They’re also great at hiding things because they duck direct questions. The experienced ones are good because they will provide an answer to a question, it’s just not the answer to the question that you asked. Ladies, look out for this and make sure that the guy actually answers the question you asked rather than getting out of it with double talk.
  7. He doesn’t remember things you tell him. In fairness, not every guy has a brilliant memory, but players tend to be particularly bad at retaining the things you tell them about yourself. This is because they speak to so many women that it’s hard to keep them all straight. If he can’t even remember the basics, he’s probably a player. On the other hand, you know a guy is for real when he can actually remember what you say to him. This means he’s paying attention to you and actively listening when you speak.
  8. It takes him a while to text you. When I say it talks a while, we’re talking weeks or months, not days. With players, it’s not that they’ve forgotten about you or have gotten super busy all of a sudden. It’s usually because they have a lot of other women they want to text. If a guy genuinely likes you and isn’t texting anyone else, he’ll surely text you within a day or two even if he’s busy.
  9. He leaves things uncertain. If he wants to keep dating you, he’ll usually make it clear. He might be a little nervous or awkward about it, but that can be a sign that he genuinely likes you. A player will always leave things a little ambiguous after seeing you. He may not even know for sure if he wants to pursue things further. That’s why one sign of a player is that you’re always wondering where you stand.
  10. He only ever compliments your appearance. I know all women enjoy receiving compliments. Unfortunately, players are a little better at giving compliments than the rest of us. However, they sometimes give themselves away because all of their compliments relate to your physical appearance. This is because this is their only focus and because they know it will get you to let your guard down. This doesn’t mean to be suspicious of a guy’s compliments, but if he’s only complimenting how you look, he might be a player who’s only interested in one thing.
Bryan Zarpentine graduated from Syracuse University and lives in upstate New York, where he writes largely about the world of sports. His work has appeared on Franchise Sports and WSN, among others. You can find him on Twitter @BZarp.