Don’t Be Surprised If You Don’t Get A Second Date If You Do These Things On The First

While some guys are guilty of some pretty terrible dating behaviors, the truth is that we can make things just as awkward. Yeah, dating sucks so much that most of us are a little jaded, but if you’re doing any of these things the first time you go out with a guy, don’t be surprised if you never see him again.

  1. You never ask the guy any questions. You’ve gone on dates with guys who refused to let you talk and never even tried to ask you anything about yourself. But what if you’re doing the same thing? If you only answer your date’s questions and chat about yourself without asking about his work or life in general, you’re being rude as hell and also kind of silly. After all, how can you tell whether or not you’re compatible if you know nothing about him?
  2. You constantly go to the bathroom to text your BFFs. It’s one thing to excuse yourself from the table during a really bad, boring evening to text “SOS” to your best friends. It’s another to do this on every single first date that you go on. Sure, you want to keep them updated, but if you don’t spend enough time actually talking to your date, things are never going to get any better. Put your phone away and give them the scoop after your date is over.
  3. You assume that there won’t even be a second date. You know that negativity gets you nowhere in life, but it’s understandably hard to stay positive when you keep striking out in your search for love. The problem is that when you assume that your first dates will never turn into second ones, you’ll start to think that there’s no point in trying and you won’t show him your true amazing self. What’s the point in going out with a guy if your heart’s not in it anyway?
  4. You judge the guy on superficial criteria. It’s only logical that you have high standards for the guy that you want to become your boyfriend, and you should—you’re amazing and you want a guy on your level. Still, if you find yourself being judgmental on first dates about little things like the fact that the guy ordered a glass of white wine instead of a beer or something equally as silly, you’re setting yourself up to fail.
  5. You fixate on your dating app convo. Sometimes people are different in person than they were online—it happens. Unless there are some major discrepancies, like he used a fake picture or actually lives at home with his mom when he told you he had his own penthouse, this shouldn’t really be a problem. If you expect this guy to be exactly how you imagined him in your mind, you might not only be disappointed but you might make that obvious and before you know it, he thinks that you don’t like him.
  6. You share bad date stories. Everyone has had terrible dates, but it’s not the best idea to talk about them the first time you hang out with a potential romantic partner. Sure, you might be tempted, especially if the guy shares some of his own and asks about yours, but it’s not really going to make you look that good. Save them for when you’re actually in a relationship. Your boyfriend will love hearing them then—and he’ll be super glad that he didn’t end up another one of your crappy date stories.
  7. You get so nervous that you forget your sense of humor. Most people would agree that cracking jokes and laughing at other people’s is a pretty important thing. A sense of humor is a super attractive quality. Of course you’re going to get nervous on dates because, well, everyone does, but there’s no reason to let your nerves get the better of you. If you can never chill out enough to let this guy see your funny self, you risk him thinking you’re uptight or humorless, neither of which are very attractive.
  8. You simply leave without saying anything. No one has really cracked the code on the whole “ending the first date” thing. Honestly, that should liberate you and make you realize that as long as you’re polite, anything goes. If you had a good time (or even an OK time), don’t just walk away without telling your date. What if this is the love of your life and he was waiting for you to say something? You never know what’s going to happen unless you try, so you might as well say that you had fun. It just might lead to a second date… and to an actual relationship.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.