I’m The Girl Who’s Always There For Everyone But No One Is Ever There For Me

I’m the kind of girl who spends all her spare time caring for everyone else, which means that I often get neglected in the process. I love making sure the people I care about are happy and loved, but even though I’m always there for everyone, no one is ever there for me. Not cool.

  1. I help everybody with their problems. My friends and family call me their “Agony Aunt” because I’m apparently great at giving advice. They say that I should have studied psychology at college and become a therapist instead of a writer because I help them out that much with my words of wisdom and kindness. It’s flattering that I apparently have a natural gift, but I’ve learned that sometimes it comes at a price.
  2. I’m a good listenerI’m much better at listening than I am talking, which often makes my loved ones think I don’t have any issues in life or I don’t have much to say at that particular time. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Often I don’t have much to say because I can’t get a word in edgewise!
  3. I’m happy to help people out. I’m a super caring person at heart and I strive to be kind and help people whenever I can, but as I get older, I’m realizing that I have less of a tolerance for putting other people’s happiness before my own.
  4. This self-sacrificing thing runs in my family. My mother is the exact same way. She was always the one who ran the show when it came to my family and she organized every little detail while I was growing up. I know it sounds cliche, but having people forget to make me a priority is in my genes. After all, there always seems to be someone else who needs my help more than I do.
  5. It’s a strength thing. My loved ones look up to me because I’m strong, but I think they often forget that I’m only human. I’m not Superwoman and I have my own issues and flaws and things I need advice on too. I don’t think people realize this at times. They just see my strength and think I’m OK, but a lot of the time, I’m far from it.
  6. I face many issues alone. Most of the time I put on an act and pretend that I’m feeling sunshiny when I’m really not, especially if I know someone else has tougher problems than I do. But then I get frustrated with myself because I know my mental health is just as important as any issue a loved one may have, maybe even more so.
  7. It’s draining being everybody’s go-to for guidance. It’s gotten to the point where I’m finding it exhausting trying to be there for everyone else all the time. I feel drained being in certain people’s company and I’m tired of burying all my problems for the sake of making everyone else happy. It’s true what they say: with age comes wisdom, and I’ve finally realized that I don’t have to prioritize other people anymore if I don’t want to. I’m number one.
  8. I no longer have an obsessive need to please people. Like Monica from Friends, I used to struggle to say no to people and put myself first because I got into the habit of always trying to make everyone happy all the time. I used to do anything to see someone else smile and it started to come at the cost of my own happiness.
  9. I’m opening up to my loved ones. Now I’ve made the decision to open up to my loved ones more about how I’m feeling. I need to stop hiding my problems to help them with theirs and make our relationship a two-way street instead of one-sided.
  10. I’m cutting down the time I spend with draining people. I’m also spending less time with people who don’t try and be there for me as much as I’m there for them, or those who drain me, so I can focus on my own issues. If my friends really love me, they’ll accept it when I pull away from them for the sake of my mental health. And if they don’t? Well, I’ll be better off without them.
Katie Davies is a British freelance writer who has built a career creating lifestyle content that caters to the modern woman. When she's not sipping tea, shopping, or exploring a new city, you'll probably find her blogging about her fashion and travel adventures at https://trendytourist.co.uk.