I’m Ambitious And Love My Career But If I Had To Choose, I’d Choose Love First

I’m smart, ambitious and I know I’ll have an amazing career, but I also want to find love. The two aren’t mutually exclusive by any means, but I won’t lie and say I don’t think it’ll be hard to juggle killing it in my professional life with maintaining a fulfilling, passionate romantic relationship. I may not be able to have it all, but if I had to choose between the perfect career and amazing love, I’d choose love every time. Here’s why:

  1. I know what I’m capable of. I don’t need to be the best of the best when it comes to my career because I know exactly what I can do work-wise — if I wanted to reach the very top, I easily could because I’m smart, driven, and extremely capable. It’s a lot harder to be a great girlfriend than it is to be a top-notch employee and I strive to succeed in love more than anything else.
  2. I’m not wasting my intelligence by putting it to use in love. I’m not trying to be arrogant, but I can hold my own when it comes to intelligence and intellectualism. When I think about how those qualities are best put to use, I only see myself cuddled up to my future perfect boyfriend, having worldly conversations until three in the morning. You can be a complete idiot and still be a professional success — just look at Donald Trump. It’s not a waste to use my intelligence in ways that have nothing to do with my career.
  3. A kickass career won’t keep me warm at night. It’s true that a really great career will fulfill me in other ways that a man just can’t, but the perfect boyfriend offers something that a career never could. My articles or novels aren’t going to hug me when I’m sad, bring me ice cream when I’m on my period or hold me until I fall asleep after a really crappy day.
  4. I could be monumentally successful and still lonely. Dying alone with professional accolades and awards and no one beside me when I’m on my deathbed doesn’t seem appealing to me. I know I’m being very generous with how successful I may become, but still. I don’t want to return home after a night of celebrating my accomplishments to an empty apartment and no one to share it with.
  5. I choose love over money. Money is great and all, but without the love of a good man in my life, that money would mean nothing. I could buy whatever I want and do whatever I want, but most of the time I just want to Netflix and chill with someone who truly cares about me. A wad of cash isn’t going to make up for not having someone there for me.
  6. Love is the best thing in the world. The perfect boyfriend will make me feel better than any career success ever could simply because success is still lonely. I could be crammed into a studio apartment eating ketchup on crackers and still have a good time with the perfect boyfriend. I can’t, however, feel that love walking around alone in a big empty house.
  7. If I don’t have anyone to share my life with, what’s the point? People who work hard for the sake it are totally admirable and all, but the only reason I want to be successful is so that I can make those I love proud of me. It’s one thing to be proud of myself, but if I don’t have an amazing guy right there alongside me cheering me on, did I even accomplish anything? Success, when there’s no one to share it with, is empty, and that’s not what I want for myself.
  8. Love is rarer and more precious than any job. I would always choose the perfect boyfriend over the perfect career because it’s a whole lot easier to change your job to something you enjoy than it is finding a deep and mutual connection with another human being. For me, truly connecting to someone is difficult and seldom even happens, but I can always find a job that I enjoy doing.
  9. Who’s going to vow to love me for all of eternity? Not my damn job. No, that kind of love can only come from having a strong, supportive partner.  My career isn’t going to say I look beautiful when I feel ugly. It’s not going to hold my hand at an uncomfortable doctor’s appointment and it sure as hell isn’t going to tell me it loves me more than anything else in the world.
  10. Careers get old, but love can stay exciting forever. The perfect boyfriend is a much more special find than any career. A career is usually only great for the first few years anyway; after that, it becomes pretty routine and loses the initial excitement. A great relationship will always be interesting and full of excitement and love no matter how long I’m in it. That’s really what I’m after.
Angelica Bottaro has a bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Trent University and an Advanced Diploma in Journalism from Centennial College. She began her career as a freelance writer in 2014, racking up bylines in The Good Men Project, MakeWell, LymeTime, YouQueen, and more. She eventually shifted her focus and began writing about mental health, nutrition, and chronic disease for VeryWell Health.

You can follow her on Facebook or check out her website at AngelicaBottaro.ca. She also posts on Instagram @a.ct._b and Twitter @angiiebee.