Are You Boring? 10 Signs You Need To Develop A Personality ASAP

You don’t have to be an encyclopedia of useless trivia or the life of the party to be interesting and engaging, but you should have some substance under the surface if you want to be worth talking to. Unfortunately, if you relate to any of these signs, the truth is that you’re kinda boring and need to get it together ASAP.

  1. You never disagree, have opinions, or speak for yourself. You might think you’re just going with the flow and being laid-back, but you might be coming off boring. You’re not really bringing anything engaging or exciting to the table that opens up other avenues of connection with people. Expressing an opinion or an unusual take on a topic is something people bond with and remember you by. You don’t have to be loud or obnoxious about your point of view but you should at least have one.
  2. You don’t have any hobbies or passions. It can be anything, really—volunteering, knitting, skydiving, painting, the list goes on. If you have something that gets you excited, you’ll naturally show a spark that people will be attracted to. Without that spark, you might come across as dull. When people have something they’re passionate about, it makes them more interesting. It doesn’t matter how niche your interests, just find and develop them.
  3. Your social circle is pretty much nonexistent. Even platonic partners like potential friends or new neighbors will see this as a red flag because it begs the question, “Why don’t other people want to be around this person?” It’s also a common harbinger of a clinger. Social skills take work and practice and with little social engagement, they’ll rust. Find your crew and really solidify those relationships. They’ll enrich your life in more ways than one.
  4. You lack ambition in every area of life. If you don’t have any sort of goal that you’re working towards in a meaningful, concrete way, you might be boring. People want to hear about developments in your life, the ups AND the downs. That’s what life is all about. Without them, what’s there to talk about? If your story and situation is the same year after year, you might be boring.
  5. You can’t hold or carry a conversation. Carrying a conversation is a heavy load. It sucks to have to mentally search for things to talk about, especially when you’re dealing with someone who doesn’t do much to help things flow. It won’t always come naturally with everyone, but trying matters. Giving one-word answers and expecting the other person to keep it going is not only boring, it’s downright awkward.
  6. You’re not interested in trying new things. Variety is the spice of life, monotony is the enemy. It’s OK to have boundaries—you don’t have to try everything that comes your way—but staying fully within your comfort zone is avoiding the place where the real magic happens. You have to be vulnerable to experience growth and take risks for reward. The only way things can ever improve is through change and attempting something new.
  7. You struggle to adapt to different social situations. A friend recently told me that a guy she was seeing invited her to a BBQ. When she rolled up, he greeted her and periodically checked in on her but spent a good portion of the time talking to his friends. She said it was awkward because she “didn’t know anyone there.” Well, get to know someone. This is a test that social people have—sink or swim. No one wants to babysit their S.O. or new friend.
  8. There’s nothing particularly unique about you. If you’re basic as hell, you might be boring but also, everyone in your life now is a flight risk. They’re just waiting for someone more interesting to come along and biding their time until that happens. In other words, you’re replaceable. If you can’t think of anything that makes you distinct, it might be time to do a little soul-searching and dig something up.
  9. You have a tendency to become codependent in relationships. The real reason behind this is that your own life lacks excitement, so you need a partner to fulfill your desire to have fun and enjoy life—an expectation that’s unsustainable and demoralizing. C’mon, get a grip!
  10. Your Tinder/Bumble pics consist of any of the following. 1. You hiking and throwing your hands up triumphantly in nature. 2. You drinking a glass of wine. 3. A selfie. 4. You in some exotic place. 5. A dolled-up look. Congratulations. Your Tinder profile is the same as 70% of other Tinder-girl profiles. You’re a face in the swipe assort. You can do better!
Tanya Fijalkowski works as an editor for Printers Row Publishing Group in San Diego, CA. She believes in the live-and-let-live philosophy, and has been a longtime advocate of shamelessness. Her motto: "It's time to take things too far."