I used to judge my body way too harshly, and it wasn’t until I discovered body positivity that I changed my tune. Learning to love my body has not only brought me a new kind of happiness but it also vastly improved my relationship. Here’s how.
- I’ve become way more confident. As the old trope goes, confidence is super sexy. I’ve heard it time and time again but until I experienced it for myself, it never really sank in. Once I started to love my body, my confidence skyrocketed and my partner could tell the difference. Shedding my insecurities transformed me for my own good and the good of my relationship.
- I’ve stopped fishing for compliments. When I learned to give myself love and appreciation, I stopped craving it from the outside. That meant I could let go of the urge to drag compliments and validation out of my partner and instead just enjoy myself, by myself! I no longer felt the need to seek his approval of my body. I already had that approval on my own.
- At the same time, I’m better able to genuinely receive compliments. When I felt insecure about my body, even if I did get a compliment from my boyfriend, I was inclined to brush it off. By dismissing his kind words, I was attempting to show modesty, but what I was actually doing was robbing us both of the gift he was trying to give. Now I gratefully accept his appreciation of my body because I allow myself to believe it!
- I’m way lower-maintenance these days. Falling in love with my body has had the unexpected side-effect of chilling me out. I used to spend so much time waxing, shaving, plucking, straightening, tightening and smoothing various parts of my body in order to feel beautiful. Now, I feel beautiful by default and all those things have taken a back seat. I still like to doll myself up every now and then, but it’s not a central point in my life anymore and my boyfriend appreciates the new low-maintenance version of me as much as I do.
- I have more energy to give to my relationship. It turns out judging and shaming my body was taking up a lot of headspace. I would spend so long looking in the mirror, listing all the things that were wrong with me, attempting to ‘fix’ the things that I thought were broken. It’s a time-consuming hobby and since I’ve shifted perspective, I have way more mental space to actually invest in our relationship.
- I feel empowered. Rather than depending on my boyfriend for validation, I’ve found total validation in myself! I know this is a huge load off for him—nobody wants to be responsible for another person’s self-esteem. Since I’ve taken my body-image into my own hands, I’ve lifted that weight off my boyfriend’s shoulders. Really, it never should have been there in the first place!
- I’m much more in touch with my sexuality. Now that I’m appreciating my own body, I’m getting way more connected to the idea of myself as a sexual being. There’s no longer any shame attached to my body and I feel so free to explore my sexuality freely and joyously. I’m approaching sex with a totally new perspective and my boyfriend has no complaints about this!
- Sex has become way easier and more fun. I used to feel awkward and embarrassed by my body during sex, feeling safer keeping the lights low and never fully showing my body. I really hated woman-on-top positions because then all my supposed ‘flaws’ would be on display. No longer! Embracing my body exactly as it is brought with it the wonderful side-effect of being way more comfortable in bed. Once I stopped worrying about what I looked like, I could spend more energy on what sex feels like and have discovered that I absolutely love being on top these days. I can’t believe I missed out on that for so long!
- I’m finally feeling good about myself. My mental health has vastly improved, now that I’m not putting myself down all the time! I feel lighter, freer, more excited about life. It’s not just my body that I’ve stopped judging – I’ve become kinder to myself in general. This makes me way happier and of course, that means I make much better company. When I feel good about myself I carry a completely different energy to when I’m judging myself as being inadequate. I’m a better lover to my boyfriend because I’ve finally become a better lover of myself!