I used to judge my body way too harshly, and it wasn’t until I discovered body positivity that I changed my tune. Learning to love my body has not only brought me a new kind of happiness but it also vastly improved my relationship. Here’s how.
I’ve become way more confident.
As the old trope goes, confidence is super sexy. I’ve heard it time and time again but until I experienced it for myself, it never really sank in. Once I started to love my body, my confidence skyrocketed and my partner could tell the difference. Shedding my insecurities transformed me for my own good and the good of my relationship.
I’ve stopped fishing for compliments.
When I learned to give myself love and appreciation, I stopped craving it from the outside. That meant I could let go of the urge to drag compliments and validation out of my partner and instead just enjoy myself, by myself! I no longer felt the need to seek his approval of my body. I already had that approval on my own.
At the same time, I’m better able to genuinely receive compliments.
When I felt insecure about my body, even if I did get a compliment from my boyfriend, I was inclined to brush it off. By dismissing his kind words, I was attempting to show modesty, but what I was actually doing was robbing us both of the gift he was trying to give. Now I gratefully accept his appreciation of my body because I allow myself to believe it!
I’m way lower-maintenance these days.
Falling in love with my body has had the unexpected side-effect of chilling me out. I used to spend so much time waxing, shaving, plucking, straightening, tightening and smoothing various parts of my body in order to feel beautiful. Now, I feel beautiful by default and all those things have taken a back seat. I still like to doll myself up every now and then, but it’s not a central point in my life anymore and my boyfriend appreciates the new low-maintenance version of me as much as I do.
I have more energy to give to my relationship.
It turns out judging and shaming my body was taking up a lot of headspace. I would spend so long looking in the mirror, listing all the things that were wrong with me, attempting to ‘fix’ the things that I thought were broken. It’s a time-consuming hobby and since I’ve shifted perspective, I have way more mental space to actually invest in our relationship.
I feel empowered.
Rather than depending on my boyfriend for validation, I’ve found total validation in myself! I know this is a huge load off for him—nobody wants to be responsible for another person’s self-esteem. Since I’ve taken my body-image into my own hands, I’ve lifted that weight off my boyfriend’s shoulders. Really, it never should have been there in the first place!
I’m much more in touch with my sexuality.
Now that I’m appreciating my own body, I’m getting way more connected to the idea of myself as a sexual being. There’s no longer any shame attached to my body and I feel so free to explore my sexuality freely and joyously. I’m approaching sex with a totally new perspective and my boyfriend has no complaints about this!
Sex has become way easier and more fun.
I used to feel awkward and embarrassed by my body during sex, feeling safer keeping the lights low and never fully showing my body. I really hated woman-on-top positions because then all my supposed ‘flaws’ would be on display. No longer! Embracing my body exactly as it is brought with it the wonderful side-effect of being way more comfortable in bed. Once I stopped worrying about what I looked like, I could spend more energy on what sex feels like and have discovered that I absolutely love being on top these days. I can’t believe I missed out on that for so long!
I’m finally feeling good about myself.
My mental health has vastly improved, now that I’m not putting myself down all the time! I feel lighter, freer, more excited about life. It’s not just my body that I’ve stopped judging – I’ve become kinder to myself in general. This makes me way happier and of course, that means I make much better company. When I feel good about myself I carry a completely different energy to when I’m judging myself as being inadequate. I’m a better lover to my boyfriend because I’ve finally become a better lover of myself!
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