All I’ve ever wanted was to hear was that my boyfriend wanted me to be his forever person, so why did I freak the hell out when he actually said those very words to me?
It’s always been a fantasy of mine. Why wouldn’t I want my significant other to look me in the eye and tell me that I’m the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with? I fell in love with my boyfriend pretty quickly, but I always felt like he was multiple steps behind me in terms of the strength of his feelings. He’s definitely caught up since then and proven that he feels the same way about me too, but I’d be totally lying if I said it didn’t still catch me off guard. I was so used to the yearning and the fantasy that it shook me when he said it!
I know he said these words with careful consideration. My BF is a very thoughtful and deliberate guy; while I’m a total blabbermouth sometimes and tend to talk a lot, my boyfriend is much more considered and introspective. He rarely says anything he hasn’t carefully considered, which makes his words even more meaningful. I mean, it took him six months to tell me he loved me!
These are words he just can’t take back. Maybe I’m being dramatic, but I just don’t think that these are the types of words that you can take back after saying them. It’s kind of like proposing or even saying “I love you.” They’re powerful words that can shift your relationship, deepen your bond, and open the door for the next step. They’re a big deal in my book and maybe that’s why I felt taken aback when he said them to me.
I feel lowgrade pressure to make forever happen. I can’t tell if I’m putting the pressure on myself or it’s part of his confession. Either way, I feel pressure to make sure that the “forever” he wants to spend with me actually happens—and I want it to! He’s the best guy I’ve ever been with and I can’t see my life without him, but when someone tells you that they want you forever, it puts the pressure on for you to rise to the occasion. It’s kind of like when your friend tells you she wants you to be her maid of honor and all of a sudden you feel a deep sense of duty to make her day as special even though it’s not really your responsibility, if that makes sense.
I feel more responsible for protecting his heart than I did before. I’m not a horrible person so I wouldn’t treat his heart like crap anyway, but I know him telling me that he wants to be with me forever came from a particular place of vulnerability and love. As a result, I feel an enhanced sense of duty toward him because I know where he stands when it comes to our relationship. I never wanted to hurt him, but I especially don’t now that I know how deep into this whole thing he truly is.
I just hope he means it. As much as I worry about protecting his heart, I also worry about protecting mine. If for some reason he didn’t mean what he said, he took it back, or we broke up, I’d feel so devastated because I’ve never felt more special to him. I want our fairy tale to be true.
Forever feels super daunting and intimidating. Although I also want forever with him, I have to admit that the idea of the rest of my life is pretty intense. Like, how long is forever? When does it end? Does it have an expiration date? I try my best not to go down this path but it’s hard to resist. After all, couples break up all the time, even ones that seemed perfect together and who also swore to be together forever. It’s tough.
I try not to anticipate a proposal but it’s in the back of my mind now. I feel like once a guy tells you that you’re his forever person, your mind logically makes the leap to a marriage proposal. Is that crazy? I feel like it’s not! I mean, if he wants to be with me forever, let’s just make this thing official, shall we? I don’t want to be the person who is expecting my boyfriend to roll out the red carpet and bling me up anytime soon because I know he has financial obligations he has to work through before he’s ready to get married—I do too. That being said, I can’t help it if it’s on my mind just a little bit!
Forever still requires one day at a time. Even though the forever talk is a little heavy, I have to remind myself to literally take our relationship one day at a time. Couples that have been married for 40 years didn’t wake up that way. It took moments, days, months, years, trials and tribulations for them to get there. If forever is our plan, I have to remember to take it in stride.
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