I Know It Sounds Crazy But I Can’t Date A Guy My Friends Hate

Guys are more afraid of meeting my BFFs than they are of meeting my parents, and for a very good reason. My girls and I are tight as hell and if they don’t like a guy I’m dating, then our relationship is as good as dead.

  1. I trust their judgment. There’s a reason why I’ve chosen these ladies to be my besties. These girls are sharp AF and can spot a loser from miles away. If my girls say something is off, there must be a good reason for that.
  2. They’re a huge and irreplaceable part of my life. I spend much of my free time with my friends. When we have boyfriends, they tag along to whatever it is we’re doing. I can’t have someone with me who’s going to make everyone else unhappy or annoyed. I’m not one of those girls who disappear on her friends whenever they’re in a relationship. The guy has to either become part of my life as it is or disappear for good.
  3. My BFFs and I are a lot alike. If the guy I’m dating dislikes my friends, it’s likely he’s going to dislike me too. He might not have seen that side of me until now, but it’s pretty certain he will once he gets to know me. By the same token, if my friends are picking up something bad from this guy, I’ll probably notice it myself before long.
  4. Guys come and go but my best friends really are forever. My friends and I have always been there for each other no matter what was going on in our love lives. This connection is the only constant thing in my life and I wouldn’t change it for the world. You don’t ditch your BFFs because of some guy or cut down on your quality time together because of a new relationship. A good relationship is one that would not require you to change the most important things in your life in order to make it work. If that’s on the cards, then it’s the wrong relationship for me.
  5. I’m not going to stop seeing my friends for any guy. These girls are here to stay. Having a boyfriend who doesn’t get on with them is therefore not going to work. If I can’t have a guy in the same room as my girlfriends, this leaves very little time for social interaction that isn’t basically date night. By the time I introduce a guy to my friends, it’s because the honeymoon phase is almost over and it’s time to integrate this relationship into my everyday life. If I can’t do that, then that’s the end of that.
  6. I hate awkward nights out. I’ve dated guys my BFFs hated before. My girls tried to tolerate these guys on my behalf and give them a chance, which I really appreciated. Of course, it never really worked. The atmosphere was always tense and there were all these awkward silences all the time. It made my own experience of our nights out really unpleasant. I could have chosen to cut down on my friend time or continue to tolerate these icky outings, but neither of those really appealed. In the end, it was the guy who had to go. Every time.
  7. My friends truly want what’s best for me—they’re not haters. I’d trust these girls with my life, so I also trust them to tell me if a guy I’m dating is not right for me. If you can’t count on your friends’ advice, then they probably shouldn’t be your friends at all.
  8. I tell them everything. There are no secrets between me and my friends, so if I tell them stuff about my new guy and they react badly, I know they have enough information to make a judgment call. Sure, I don’t always listen to them straight away, but I’ve learned time and time again that I can and should trust their assessment.
  9. They’ve known me since forever. These girls know me better than anyone. Probably even better than I know myself. I take their opinions about guys seriously because I know they understand exactly what I’m looking for. They’ve also been around for all my previous heartbreaks, so they are fully aware of all my bad relationship patterns.
  10. I have a terrible track record with guys.  I’ve been hurt a lot before, so my BFFs look after me. Sometimes I think I trust them more than I trust myself because I’ve made so many bad choices. I know that ultimately it’s my decision, but every time they’ve warned me about a guy, they turned out to have been right. Now I just listen to what they say and pay attention to the issues they raise. I wouldn’t go as far as saying I’ve dumped guys I liked just because my friends told me to, but I’ve definitely gone off guys because of issues my BFFs highlighted.
  11. Sometimes love makes you blind so it’s up to your friends to look out for you. I fall in love hard and fast and I don’t always stop to watch out for red flags or think about the future. These are things that are much easier to do when you’re observing a relationship from the outside. My BFFs and I look out for each other when our hormones are raging. If any one of us is ignoring obvious warning signs and is dating someone who’s unworthy of her, we’ll have her back. We’ve known each other long enough and trust each other completely, so I know my BFFs would never put me off a guy who’s right for me.
Writer, artist, intrepid traveler and lover of cats, cheese and techno music. Preferably not all at the same time.
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