Does your boyfriend’s upcoming night out with the guys fill you with dread? Honestly, if you worry about what he’ll get up to if he spends a night on his own, there’s no future for you and that’s the truth. Here’s why you can’t trust him and you should get out before it gets serious.
You’ll always worry he’ll cheat. Even if he never does, the stress and anxiety of constantly worrying he might stray will drive you nuts! Feeling secure in your relationship is the foundation of a healthy one. It’s too hard to imagine a future with someone who might be tempted to slink off with the first girl who pays him attention.
You’ll doubt his fatherhood skills. Whether you want lots of babies or just lots of furbabies, you probably want your guy to start exhibiting some paternal instincts. If you’re planning to make this a long-term relationship, chances are you’re going to need him to step up and play his part. You’ll need him to be responsible and provide stability, something he would be if you trusted him on guys’ night.
You’ll feel intimidated and insecure around attractive women. You’ll always be looking over your shoulder at other women, comparing yourself to them and worrying that they have something you don’t. You should never feel like you have to compete with other women in a healthy relationship. He should only have eyes for you and treat you like the amazing woman you are—and you should feel secure in that knowledge.
First comes boys’ night, then the bachelor parties. As your relationship matures, so do the relationships of the people around you. If guys’ night is hard enough, how are you going to handle the inevitable bachelor parties? They’re going to be wilder than any other guys’ nights he’s been on and the last thing you want is to be sitting frantically at home wondering what trouble he’s getting up to.
Your friends will start to resent him. It’s only natural to vent about your relationships to your closest friends, but if they find you constantly complaining about his gallivanting, they’re going to start judging his worth. Harsh but true. If you had a friend whose boyfriend made them more unhappy than happy, you’d want them to leave him too. It’s also worth noting that even in a healthy relationship, if you only mention the negatives to your friends, they only know the negatives and will form an opinion based solely on them. Same goes for your mom. If you want her to like him, keep your relationship problems between the two of you.
Your self-worth will deplete. It’s never a good thing to completely lose yourself in a relationship. Just because you’re now a couple doesn’t mean you aren’t your own person. Your guy should bring out the best in you, not the worst. When you can’t trust him and feel too dependent on him, your self-worth will start to plummet downhill faster than you can imagine. The worst reason to stay with someone is for fear of being single. It’s not fair to either of you and you CAN do better.
You’ll stop going out on girls’ night. It won’t seem fair that he can’t go out on boys’ night without a drama so you’ll start to distance yourself from girls’ night. You both need time alone with friends; it’s perfectly healthy to spend time apart and you both deserve it. Without some downtime with the girls, you’ll find your friendships drifting, accentuating your feeling of alienation and exacerbating your trust issues.
You’ll start spying on him. While we all love our apps and gadgets, having them (and your partners) at hand makes it very tempting to sneak into his messages. Once you take the plunge and start reading his messages, it becomes addictive and all-consuming. Aside from this being a clear sign you don’t trust him, it will be very hard to break the habit.
Accusations will become a daily occurrence. Maybe he receives a missed phone call in the night or simply won’t leave his phone out of his sight. Maybe he says he’s leaving work and you’re sure it wouldn’t take 45 minutes to get home. Whatever it is, you’ll pick up on it and use it as a reason to be suspicious. It could be something but it’s probably nothing. From the other side, he’ll start making accusations back at you for similar scenarios he doesn’t know the truth about either. All of this will become too much, too hard, and too exhausting.
Your jealousy will know no bounds. Finally, your idea of what’s appropriate behavior towards other women will get warped. An innocent touch on the shoulder of another woman won’t seem so harmless and you’ll hate every minute of your jealous fuelled rage. You’ll know deep down that it’s irrational but you won’t be able to shake your deep seeded trust issues.
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