Sometimes you’re the woman who gets cheated on, and sometimes you’re the woman a guy cheats with. You might think that if he makes you his official girlfriend at the cost of the relationship he was already in, this bulletproofs you from future betrayal because it means he really loves you. In actuality, this is why you’re likely to become his next victim:
Once a cheater, always a cheater. The advice your mom gave you was right: A study from Denver University research found that 45% of people who were unfaithful in a previous relationship went on to cheat again in their next one. Sure, it’s not a guarantee, but the odds certainly aren’t in your favor.
The first betrayal is the hardest. It makes sense that cheating gets easier with time, and if your guy leaves behind a string of betrayals, chances are that he was more torn up about his actions the first time he screwed around. By this point in the game, he’s probably immune to the severity of his actions. So what’s stopping him from doing it again?
You’re an easy target. By helping him cheat when he had another girlfriend, you were his partner in crime. You showed him that you were okay with the behaviors that you both took part in, which could cause him to respect you less. After all, if you’re so blase about him cheating on the woman he was with before you, why shouldn’t you be just as blase when the shoe’s on the other foot?
He could have used you as a way out. He wanted to leave his previous relationship and thought messing around with you could be the bridge to his new life… without you. How convenient for him. Don’t mistake his previous relationship ending for a commitment to one with you.
You’re off to a bad start. Getting together in such a dramatic situation can’t be a good omen. You’ll carry the guilt over the horrible thing you’ve both done forever, and it’s sure to eat away at your relationship, perhaps even causing resentment. And you know what he does when he’s in a bad place: he goes off and finds someone else.
You’ll always carry doubt. Even if he seems really committed to you, you’ll always have at least a tiny bit of doubt in the back of your mind. You’ll probably worry that someday in the future he’ll betray you the way he betrayed his previous girlfriend. Sometimes, the anxiety can sometimes be worse than the actual betrayal itself because it prevents you from enjoying the good times for fear that they’ll come crashing down.
It’s not a good sign that he cut right to the chase with you. Moving too fast with you is a bad sign. It’s like he’s in a mad rush to get with you and have a whirlwind romance. But those kinds of relationships are destructive and don’t last long, which means you could end up dizzy and dumped in no time.
Loyalty is shot from the beginning. Your relationship was built on his lack of loyalty to his GF. Faithfulness was not really such a priority then, so why think that it could be now with you? His loyalty issues are still there, even if he’s dating a different woman.
It could be all about the chase. Some cheaters are really intrigued by the idea of chasing women and not so keen on the commitment that comes after they’ve caught them. If your guy cheated on his ex with you, it could be that he’s thrilled by the chase, but will soon be out there doing his thing with a different woman all over again.
You’re no better off than his ex. You might think that since he left her for you that he must love you more than he loved her, but that’s faulty logic. And, if he did love her at one point but then cheated on her, what’s stopping him from doing that to you once the honeymoon phase is over and a relationship rut starts forming?
Love doesn’t change someone. Just because he loved you so much that he had to be with you at the cost of his previous relationship doesn’t mean that he’s a changed man. Whatever he was is what he will be again, so you might want to GTFO before you find yourself stuck with a cheater.
It’s convenient to blame the ex. When he got with you, chances are he was not singing the praises of his ex, but instead bringing her down to show you how much he wanted you more than her. Although it might have been flattering to hear, the truth is that it’s all part of the cheater’s code of charm. The fact of the matter is that he cheated on his ex, and that was crappy. Imagine if that had been your best friend or sister. Now imagine dating that guy and thinking your relationship would be amazing. Um, no.
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