Checking Out Other Women When We’re Together Isn’t A Crime, But It Is A Red Flag

Beautiful people always grab our attention, and while there’s nothing wrong with admiring hot strangers — I do it all the time when I’m alone or out with my girlfriends. However, checking out other women to the point that you’re staring like a dog in heat when you’re out with your partner is NOT a good look. Looking without touching may seem harmless, but if my guy does it, it’s a massive red flag for me. I might not break up with him for it, but it certainly makes me look at him a bit differently and if he refuses to stop, we might not last much longer.

  1. I need a guy with manners and a little self-control. If he’s the kind of guy who likes to check out other women when we’re out together, he’s basically showing me that he has no manners. It’s like burping in my face after eating or picking his nose while I’m speaking to him. Whatever natural instinct he gets, he acts upon it instead of exercising a bit of restraint. Yikes.
  2. It just makes him look desperate and shallow. It’s almost the same thing as checking Tinder on his phone while we’re together (though if we’re together and he’s got Tinder still, that’s a whole other can of worms). I don’t want a guy who messages every hot girl he sees without taking a second to read about the actual person. It’s just sad not to have any real standards other than physical beauty, and I don’t want to be with that guy.
  3. I deserve someone who has eyes only for me. If I’m out with him, this means I’ve made an effort to look good because I believe that he’s someone who deserves my time, otherwise, I wouldn’t be here. Therefore I demand the same amount of effort from him because I deserve it too, right? If he doesn’t agree to that, staring at other women is definitely a way to give me the hint.
  4. We haven’t known each other long enough for me to be okay with it. Perhaps If we’d been together for a decade and we’d learned to trust each other, we’d be perfectly fine with checking out hot strangers just for the fun of it. I personally know married couples who do this to entertain themselves when they’re out on a date. But dude, we’re not there yet, and we don’t have half that level of intimacy to make it okay for him to be so relaxed around me.
  5. I don’t gawk when I’m out on a date and I see hot guys. He probably hasn’t noticed, but there are dozens of incredibly hot guys around us when we’re out together and I don’t stare at them because I have manners. Just imagine how depressing and crappy our date would be if we were both leching after strangers like a couple of pervs instead of focusing on each other.
  6. It makes him look like he’s not interested enough. When a guy is really into a woman, it just shows. He just can’t take his eyes off her and doesn’t notice the world around him. The best way to make someone feel great during the first date is to give them your full, undivided attention. When he’s checking out the hot waitress, it’s a great way to show me he’s bored, he’s not into me, or that he’s completely friend-zoned me.
  7. It’s a huge turn-off. Even if things between us are more sexual than romantic and we’re only hanging out, there’s little chance I’d want to take him home with me when he can’t even play the part for two hours. If he wants to get me in the mood, he has to try harder and give me his undivided attention.
  8. It’s embarrassing for me. When he’s staring at a sexy woman with his mouth hanging open like an idiot, he makes me look bad. I may not care about what people think but I do care if I’m the poor woman in the room whose date is ogling another girl’s derriere.
  9. It’s a lousy way to pretend he’s taking things easy. Come on, he’s not an idiot. He knows that staring at someone for longer than three seconds rarely goes unnoticed by the woman he’s out with. If he’s worried he might seem a little too into me and wants to give off an air of disinterest, he’s picking a silly way to do it. He’s basically taking it to the extreme and proving that he DGAF or that he’s only looking for a hookup at best.
  10. It might be nothing really, but it can ruin everything. Of course, I’m not saying that checking out other women when we’re out together is unforgivable. He might be feeling stressed, tired, or I might be mistaken and see something that isn’t there. Still, first impressions are extremely important and very hard to shake off later. Having already dated too many of the wrong guys, I like to play it safe and steer clear from giving second chances that I might later regret.
Chrisa is a freelance travel and lifestyle journalist who is obsessed with urban life, big cities, and untold stories.