I don’t think anyone really likes compromise, but it’s a necessary part of every relationship. We adjust our desires and expectations to help the partnership move along, and it can be a beautiful thing. However, there are some things the people you love should never expect you to budge on, no matter what, and if they truly care about you, they won’t even ask. It’s great that you’re willing to meet him halfway, but if he wants you to do any of the following, it’s time to put your foot down and say no.
Cut ties with friends.
Occasionally, you’ll be asked to step away from a toxic friendship, and that’s OK because it’s better for your mental and emotional well-being. But when you’re asked to give up your best friend or even all your friends, especially when it’s for no real reason, it’s a red flag. You shouldn’t have to give up your friends for anyone.
Give up your dreams.
It’s fine for those closest to you to give you a reality check now and then, but they shouldn’t be asking you to give up on what you’ve always wanted. Your dreams fuel you and keep you striving for more in life. Give those up and you’ve lost a vital part of yourself.
End your career.
I used to date this one guy who just assumed I’d give up my career to follow him as he bounced from one friend’s house to another. Yeah, real winner. After a huge fight, I was happily single. I worked hard for my career and I’m not giving it up.
Change how you look.
I lost my best friend because I tried to keep her from making a huge mistake for a new guy and his friends. She thought he loved her, so she went out, maxed out her credit cards buying designer clothes and getting her hair cut, and completely changed her style. She hated every second of it. I still don’t get why she did it. If he really cared, he’d loved her for her own unique look and style.
Sacrifice your self-respect.
No one should ever ask you to make compromises that damage your own self-respect. The moment anyone makes you feel like you’re not good enough, leave immediately. That person isn’t worth having in your life.
Lower your expectations about how you’re treated.
“He’s so hot, so I can overlook his temper.” BS. NEVER compromise on how you’re treated by someone else. You deserve to be treated as a decent human being. Demand respect or get the hell out of the situation.
Abandon your belief system.
Whether it’s your religion, morals or anything else, if it’s something you value and believe in, don’t let anyone take it away from you. The things you believe in make you who you are. (And yes, I’ve lost friends and boyfriends over this myself.)
Ruin your health.
I spent about a week working out non-stop and dieting to try and look sexy enough for a certain guy to notice me. Then I remembered that no guy is worth compromising my health over. I went back to my usual workout, started eating what I wanted, and felt better. Sadly, one of my friends actually spent nearly a year starving herself to fit in with another group of friends before she realized it wasn’t worth it. Your health always comes first.
Let go of your interests.
We all deserve to have our own unique interests. As long as they’re not illegal or harmful to others, don’t let anyone take your interests away. No, you’re not always going to have the same interests as your friends or boyfriends, but they’re yours and that’s what matters. The ones who care most won’t mind checking out or talking about what you’re interested in.
Forget your core self.
Have you ever felt like you’ve compromised so much that you don’t know yourself anymore? I’ve been there. It took a kind of detox period to make me feel like me again. You’re personality, beliefs, interests, friends, family and health make up who you are. Giving up any of these won’t make you happy. Stay true to yourself, no matter what.
Live some where you hate.
You’ll likely have to compromise some on living arrangements, but not completely. For instance, if you love being in the middle of city and he loves the country, live in between. If you’re stuck living in an area or home you absolutely hate, you’ll be miserable. It’s not worth it.
Give up your family.
Your boyfriends aren’t always going to get along with your family. That’s not your fault. You can have both though. Sure, you might not be able to get your boyfriend and family together often, but he should never ask you to give up your family for him. Stay close to the relatives you love most. Remember, they’ve always been there. Don’t push them to the side.
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