Life is hard, and sometimes we make things even harder on ourselves. Luckily, most of the common traps people fall into can be avoided with a little awareness and effort. Let’s dive into those classic pitfalls so you can learn from the mistakes of others and start building the life you truly want.
1. Making your job your identity
”So, what do you for work?” It’s a common question that is often an ice-breaker with new people, but it can also be a common trap to use your job as a replacement for a personality. Work is not the be-all and end-all of life, so don’t fall into the trap of thinking that it is and that other people are as interested in your job as you may be. Find things you enjoy outside of your job because one day, if you’re not working in that job anymore, what will you have to say about yourself?
2. Dating the same people and wondering why it’s not working out
We all complain about the terrible dates we’ve been on, but how often do we reflect on who we’re actually dating? Do they all look the same, behave the same, end up not replying to messages, and barely put in effort? If so, it’s time to get out of this trap and look for better people to go on dates with in the first place and not even entertain the idea of a date unless they seem worthy.
3. Letting people take advantage of you
It can be hard to say no to people, but takers will continue to take what they can while the givers keep on giving. Don’t let people let you fall into this trap where they take advantage of you because they know you’ll show up for them when needed. Put your foot down and let them know you can’t always be their go-to person in times of crisis. They’ll have to learn to sort things out for themselves sometimes.
4. Saying yes to too many things
If you’re feeling burnt out or feeling like you’re running around attending events or seeing friends and not really enjoying it, it’s time to consider the trap of saying “yes” to too many things. You may have wanted to do all the things you agreed to, but the reality is you can’t — there has to be some balance.
5. Getting married instead of working on the relationship
Sometimes people imagine that their life will be better with more commitment rather than improving the quality of their relationship to begin with. What’s the point of legally committing to someone when you’re both unsure of what the other person really wants for the future? Do not fall into the trap of having the title of bride or groom to somehow compensate for what is lacking with your partner.
6. Staying silent
It can be difficult to speak up when something isn’t right or say how you feel about a certain situation. However, silence will get you nowhere because people often don’t know how someone feels until they express themselves. You’ll continue to feel trapped in your own silence rather than freed by admitting how you feel. It’s hard but definitely worth saying something.
7. Living somewhere you don’t want to be
You’re bored of the same streets, same people, and same neighborhood mentalities. Yet you’re still there, even though you dream of being somewhere else. Why not make your dreams a reality? Even moving to another suburb or state within the same country can do wonders to what you get out of life.
8. Allowing family to take over your life
Too often, family can get away with crossing boundaries and being quite intense. They’ll always offer their unwanted opinions and stick their nose in your business, but it’s up to you to rewire your brain so that you realize your family need to be put in their place. They’ll keep butting in and trying to control you if you let them. It’s time to get out of that trap and let them know you’re cool with calling the shots for yourself.
9. Relying on the same friendships
It’s great to maintain important friendships in your life with people you can always rely on, no matter what. However, people’s lives change and roads diverge, so it’s important to maintain a sense of curiosity and openness to other people around you. You never know who could become your best friend or if you might meet someone new who lights up your life.
10. Accepting low effort
High effort people need to receive the same in return. As soon as you accept low (or no!) effort from someone, it teaches them that the bare minimum is enough to keep you in their lives. Cut ties with people that don’t reciprocate your effort, otherwise, you’ll end up being the one trapped in receiving subpar standards.
11. Comparing yourself to other people
Comparison is the thief of joy, and yet we all allow our joy to be stolen. It’s easy to constantly compare yourself to others when everybody’s lives seem so much more fun or fulfilling. It’s a trap everybody falls into, but it’s one that is deeply unhealthy. Remember, photo albums (especially the online ones) only show glimpses of happiness and success and not the emotional rollercoaster that life really is behind closed doors.
12. Doing things because everybody else is doing them
Everyone is going to Ibiza, so why don’t you spend your hard-earned money on a place you haven’t really considered and doesn’t match what you want in a holiday? Just because everyone else is doing something doesn’t mean you should. Don’t fall into the trap of pretty photos when you know there’s something else you’d be a lot more interested in doing.
13. Overthinking text messages
Usually, if someone writes, “sounds good,” it means that they think it sounds good. There may not be an exclamation mark, emoji or follow-up to this, so if you’re wondering if it actually does sound good to them, it’s time to get away from the text and ask them in person (or at least a phone call). Burying your head in text on a screen is the ultimate trap we all need to escape.
14. Hustling and not resting
It feels as though if you don’t have a side hustle, you must be lazy. This is definitely not true. Rest is important. Rest is what will make you happier and have a clearer mind for the challenges ahead. Hustling all the time will only lead to burnout and an unhappy life. It’s the trap of thinking you must be working hard all the time to achieve things without realizing that taking some downtime in between is what will really help you achieve.
15. Thinking you must follow a certain path in life
Climb the corporate ladder, get married, have kids, all in that order — otherwise, you’re not doing it right. The biggest trap of all is thinking that you must follow a certain path in life and do things in an order that may not even make sense to you. Often people have kids before marriage or change careers in their later years of life, so why did we all think that we needed to do all these things in a certain way and by a certain time? Live your life and not somebody else’s.
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