I Dated A Paranoid Guy And It Was One Of The Most Disturbing Experiences Ever

Dating a paranoid guy often felt like being in a weird sci-fi movie. So many times I just shook my head and thought, “Is this for real?” While I certainly don’t discount the seriousness of mental health issues, this dude was really something else.

  1. He turned dates into drama. I was at his house one night when he walked into the room and declared that his cousin was planning to kill him. I really thought he was joking so I laughed. He wasn’t impressed and looked really freaked out. WTF? I made an excuse and got out of there fast.
  2. I started to doubt my own sanity. When he continued to act like his family was against him, I really started to wonder if I was wrong in doubting him. What if he was right? What if they really didn’t like him? What if his cousin really did have it in for him? He was so convincing about his beliefs and he’d been a great, sane guy for the two months we’d dated previously, so it was easy to get sucked in.
  3. He thought everyone was out to get him. In time, I started to notice a pattern: the guy thought everyone hated him and was out to get him, not just his family. We went to the movies and he’d say, “Check how that guy’s looking at me!” Or, we’d be at the mall and he’d be convinced that a woman was following us. It was crazy!
  4. He was an energy vampire. The guy drained the life out of me. I could tell he needed some serious help but he was never keen to see a psychologist because he firmly believed he wasn’t the problem. Drama!
  5. I never knew what to expect. When I’d meet him for a date, I never knew what he’d be like because he changed all the time. One minute he could be carefree and fun and the next he’d have some drama that he invented out of nowhere. I was constantly walking on eggshells around him out of fear that anything that would set him off.
  6. He hated authority figures. Anyone in a position of authority would make this guy defensive. It’s really scary being with someone who gets pulled over by the cops and then gets defensive or snarky with them. Seriously, dude, take a chill pill.
  7. I had to reassure the crap out of him consatntly. He was always second-guessing himself and worried about the future, and I had to try to make him feel better or try to think positively. He’d worry that he wasn’t attractive and I’d have to tell him he was. Ugh.
  8. He accused me of cheating on him. One day, completely out of the blue, he asked me if I was dating someone else. WTF? I’d been so supportive of this guy and his issues, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I realized he was expecting bad things from everyone around him and couldn’t see what was really there in front of him. Talk about making me feel worthless.
  9. I felt like I wasn’t good enough. Being with someone paranoid was really messed up. It started to make me feel like I wasn’t a good enough girlfriend. When I said something nice, he’d always find a way to twist it. He could see the most negative things in the most beautiful ones. I couldn’t deal with him or give him what he wanted because he found fault with everything!
  10. He always made me the bad guy. I could never get through to this guy. When we argued about other stuff, he would always find a way to pin me as the bad guy. Or he’d talk absolute rubbish to throw me for a loop. I really didn’t know if he was manipulating me or really, genuinely crazy.
  11. He had a darker problem. I needed to know why this guy was like this, so I did some digging around and discovered some info from his friends and family. The guy had a substance abuse problem. Aha! That explained the craziness and paranoia, but the worst thing was that he never got help. He never believed he needed it. Ugh.
  12. He put my life in danger. One day, I went over to his place and when he let me into the house, he told me that he’d just heard me outside talking to his neighbor. WTF? He said I’d told the guy that I was dating a total loser. He was really angry and I was afraid to be there. I could tell he’d used drugs. Was he going to lose it? Was he going to hurt me? I didn’t want to be around this guy anymore. I’d tried to help him but now he was on his own.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.