Dating A Guy With Kids — What To Be Prepared For

Dating A Guy With Kids — What To Be Prepared For ©iStock/Geber86

DILFs are now being extolled as perfect marriage material by some girls, but the truth is that dating a single dad isn’t always filled with joy, laughter, and angelic kids. Dating a dad can be a lot of work. In fact, depending on the dad, it can be a total waste of time. Here’s what you need to know going in:

  1. Dads will probably put their kids before you (and that’s how it should be). That’s great for the kids, and realistically, that’s what they are supposed to do. Many single dads will try to score a happy medium between the two of you. However, there are a lot of single dads out there who can take this overboard and make you a constant #2 in their lives. If you’re looking for someone who can cater to you 24/7, a single dad is not a good idea.
  2. There’s a good chance for baby mama drama. Simply put, the mother of his child isn’t someone that will disappear anytime soon. She’ll be involved in your guy’s life, if only just for the kids. You can’t drive her out completely unless she’s lost all custody rights, and you shouldn’t want to. Before you get serious, gauge the baby mama drama level first… and be careful if she’s too  close to your potential boyfriend.
  3. Almost all single dads are looking for a mom for their kids, as well as a wife of their own. Simply put, if you’re looking for a guy who can party at a club with you, a guy with kids is most likely not going to want you for the long-term. Remember, he does have kids to take care of, and that means that he can’t do all the fun, wild stuff that you may want to do without serious planning ahead.
  4. Kids will impact your relationship with him, and not all kids are little angels. If the kid is a total nightmare, it will eventually strain your relationship with him. The question is whether or not being with him is worth dealing with the kid that he raised. Most of the time, it’s not too big an issue. In fact, most kids are pretty happy to have a new mom around. Still, it’s something to think about.
  5. Single dads are a package deal. If you can’t handle his child, or if you can’t stand what happens when it comes to putting together a date when you’re dating a dad, just realize it’s not going to work out. It is a package deal, and you’re going to have to take the good with the bad. For women who love kids, though, this package deal can come as a bonus.
  6. It can be a Brady Bunch adventure. If you’re a single mom and he’s a single dad, it can turn into a Brady Bunch-style family. That can be awesome, and it can also be chaotic. Amidst all the love and craziness might just be a new family that makes it work.
  7. You have to take things really slow. Most single parents will take months, or even years, to introduce their children to their partners. This is to protect both their partners and their kids from becoming overly attached too early on. With single dads, slow and steady wins the race.
  8. Some sdads out there are scarily bitter. Some dads faced a bitter divorce, a cheating wife, lost their entire life savings, and then had to fight just to get custody of their kid. Needless to say, some dads are still bitter about it all. They may be guarded, or they might even try to take it out on you. That being said, expect issues and baggage to be present with at least some of the DILFs you date. My advice to you is simple: if he shows signs of bitterness, walk away. He’s not ready for a relationship yet.
  9. You might get judged on your mommy skills. Brushing up on how to cook a good meal, talk to kids, or change a diaper might actually be a good thing for dating a single dad. Even if you know how to do these things, you might still get some flak from people. Don’t pay it any mind, though.
  10. He may or may not want kids with you. Believe it or not, a pretty big portion of the single dad population don’t want any more kids. You may want to address the issue before you get serious.
  11. Single dads have skills regular guys don’t. If you’re a mom, you don’t have to worry that this guy won’t know how to handle a babysitter calling in sick. He can cook, he can clean, and he can discipline… and that’s hot.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a New Jersey based writer and editor with bylines in Mashed, Newsbreak, Good Men Project, YourTango, and many more. She’s also the author of a safe travel guide for LGBTQIA+ people available on Amazon.

She regularly writes on her popular Medium page and posts on TikTok and Instagram @ossianamakescontent.