10 Crappy Dating Rites Of Passage You’ll Have To Go Through On Your Journey To Find Love

10 Crappy Dating Rites Of Passage You’ll Have To Go Through On Your Journey To Find Love ©iStock/javi_indy

It would be pretty great if you could meet your person ASAP and skip all this dating nonsense, but chances are that’s not going to happen. Finding love is a long, frustrating road, and you’re not going to get anywhere by complaining or wishing that things were easier. It might be obnoxious to have to deal with these crappy dating experiences, but you’ll have to go through them if you want to find love:

  1. Being stood up/canceled on for no reason. People are flaky, no doubt about it. Sure, you could totally believe that every time you have a first date coming up, it’s set in stone, but that’s just not the case. You’re going to get canceled on and all you do is be glad that this guy showed you his immaturity and lack of respect as early as possible. Remember: a canceled date probably would have been a crappy date.
  2. Getting ghostedYup, this is going to happen to you, and nope, there’s not much you can do about it. Wishing guys could be honest and tell you what’s going on isn’t going to stop this from happening. All you can do is accept it and move on. A guy who doesn’t have the balls to tell you upfront that he’s not feeling it isn’t a guy you’d ever want in your life.
  3. Being put on the back burner. Sometimes you’re dating a really great guy (or one who seems like he’s pretty great). The only problem? He’s apparently dating about 100 other girls too. It really sucks to be put on the back burner, and it’s completely unacceptable for a guy to play that annoying game where he pays attention to you when he wants to without ever really and truly committing. Instead of getting upset, spend your time with someone who has eyes for only you.
  4. Your first almost relationship. You can’t force an almost boyfriend to become a real one, no matter how much you wish you could. The first time you realize that you’re in an almost relationship is totally a dating rite of passage, but it doesn’t have to be such a negative thing. You can learn a lot and be ready when the next guy comes along to ask for what you truly want and need in love.
  5. Being perpetually confused and unsure about what you’re doing. Confused about dating? Yeah, so is everyone else. You need to accept the confusion as part of the process and realize that someday when you meet your person, there will be absolutely nothing confusing about it. It sounds silly, but there really is a guy out there who will make sense for you and your life — you just have to be patient enough to wait for him.
  6. Liking a guy who doesn’t like you. This is basically a law of the universe or something. It would be great if every guy that you were crushing on felt the exact same way, but of course that’s not reality. This is just teaching you how to be even stronger and more confident. There’ll be guys who have feelings for you when you don’t feel the same, so it eventually evens out.
  7. Having serious dating regrets. You should have accepted that second date. You should have pushed to reschedule when that guy canceled. Having regrets is totally normal, but it’s also not a great road for you to go down. Stop regretting and start living in the moment. It’s the only way to live… and it’s also the only way to date. Making a mistake with one guy won’t keep you from finding another, so don’t dwell on what you can’t change.
  8. Wanting to quit forever. No one said that dating was supposed to be simple or the most fun that you’ll ever have, so there’s really no reason to give up. If you stop dating because you want love but you’re sick and tired of all the other stuff, you’re not winning at all. Your frustration is completely normal, so learn to live with it.
  9. Losing your faith in men. It’s super easy to think that just because you’ve had some heartbreak and awful experiences, that means that every single guy is going to hurt and disappoint you. But thinking that every guy out there is a jerk is the wrong way to go. You’re going to lose your faith in men sometimes because that’s just part of this whole deal, but you need to find your faith again and keep trying.
  10. The revolving first dates door. Sometimes being single and dating means going on first dates… like, a lot of them. And that’s exactly what you should be doing. Instead of getting angry that your first dates aren’t leading to seconds and that you don’t seem to be getting anywhere, accept that this is where you need to be right now. You’re going to meet someone amazing when the time is right. And you will be so glad that you accepted all of the twists and turns of your journey along the way.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.