Dating Yourself Is Totally Underrated — Here’s How To Do It (And Why You Should)

All your friends are going on about all the fun they have with their partners or all the dates they’re getting from dating apps. Meanwhile, you’re sitting at home wondering why you’re still rolling solo and feeling sorry for yourself. Snap out of it! You shouldn’t be moping about your lack of romantic partner. In fact, you should be dating yourself instead. Here’s why — and how to get started if you’ve never done it before.

Why you should be your own date sometimes

  1. It’s a form of self-care. Taking care of yourself is important for your overall well-being. By dating yourself, you’re practicing self-care and showing yourself love and appreciation. You’re pretty great and deserve to be celebrated. However, you don’t need a romantic partner to make that happen. Honoring your worth is a great way to increase self-confidence and find fulfillment even when you’re single.
  2. You can do what you want. When you take yourself on a date, you have the freedom to choose exactly what you want to do. Whether it’s going to a movie, taking a walk in the park, or trying a new restaurant, you get to call the shots. While it’s nice when someone else plans a date, it’s even better when you never have to do things you don’t want to do because you’re too shy to speak up.
  3. It’s empowering. Dating yourself can help you feel more confident and empowered. It proves that you’re capable of enjoying your own company and having a good time without relying on anyone else. That feels damn good, to be honest.
  4. It’s a great way to try new things. When you take yourself on dates, you have the opportunity to try new things that you might not have tried otherwise. You can explore new neighborhoods, try new foods, or see a new movie that you might not have watched with someone else. Also, you avoid being bored or getting stuck in routine.
  5. You can focus on yourself. When you’re on a date with someone else, it’s easy to get distracted and focus on their needs and desires. But when you’re on a date with yourself, you can focus entirely on yourself and your own needs. After all, we can all do with being a little more selfish sometimes, right?
  6. It’s a chance to disconnect. In today’s busy world, it can be difficult to disconnect from technology and constant stimulation. When you start dating yourself, you have the opportunity to put your damn phone away and live in the real world. Because we don’t do it often enough, this is a welcome experience.
  7. It’s a great way to de-stress. Life is stressful as hell sometimes and we all need to unwind. Going on a date with yourself can be a great way to de-stress and recharge. By taking some time to yourself, you can reduce stress and anxiety and improve your overall well-being. This is especially true if your dates are in nature. Did someone say shinrin yoku?
  8. You can learn more about yourself. Spending time alone and doing things that you enjoy can help you learn more about yourself. You may discover new interests, hobbies, or passions that you didn’t even know you had. It also helps you realize that you’re actually pretty great company. There’s a lot to love about you. Remember that.
  9. It can be fun. Dating yourself isn’t just an exercise in single empowerment. It can also be fun! You get to do something special for yourself and enjoy some quality “me” time. And depending on what you’re doing, you’re likely to have a damn good time.
  10. It’s an act of self-love. This is probably the most important reason to start dating yourself, to be honest. By showing yourself that you are worthy of time, attention, and care, you strengthen your relationship with yourself and build a foundation of self-worth and respect that’s indestructible.

How to start dating yourself

happy woman on city streetiStock/electravk
Portrait of a beautiful mixed race woman in the street.
  1. Schedule time for yourself. Just like you would schedule a date with someone else, dating yourself takes a bit of organization. Decide on a day and time that works for you and commit to it. No matter how busy you are, you can always set aside a few hours for a hot date.
  2. Figure out what you want to do. Think about what activities you enjoy and plan a date around that. It could be anything from going to a museum or art exhibit, taking a hike in nature, trying a new restaurant, or just relaxing at home with a good book. After all, it’s not so much about what you do as it is about what you make of the experience.
  3. Put effort into it — don’t half-ass it. Just like you would for a date with someone else, put effort into the experience. Dress up, wear your favorite scent and an amazing outfit that makes you feel as hot as you are, and treat yourself to something special. This is supposed to be a date, so treat it like one.
  4. Disconnect from technology. To fully enjoy your time with yourself, it’s important to disconnect from technology. Put your phone away and be present in the moment. You waste so much time scrolling Instagram and watching TikToks. When you’re dating yourself, your phone shouldn’t be part of the equation.
  5. Enjoy your own company. While it may feel uncomfortable at first, try to embrace and enjoy your own company. Use this time to reflect on your thoughts and feelings, and appreciate the time you have with yourself. This might be tough at first, but give it time. The longer you’re dating yourself, the easier it will become.
  6. Try new things. When you’re on a date with yourself, you have the opportunity to try new things and explore new places. Challenge yourself to step outside of your comfort zone and try something you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t had the chance to yet. You obviously don’t need a romantic partner to get out in the world.
  7. Practice gratitude. Take some time to reflect on what you’re grateful for in your life. Expressing gratitude can help shift your mindset to a more positive and appreciative one. No matter how bad things feel, you always have things to be grateful for.
  8. Make it a regular practice. Dating yourself doesn’t have to be a one-time thing. Make it a regular practice and schedule dates with yourself on a weekly or monthly basis. And hey, maybe you’ll actually have some time for a date with someone else every now and again (if they’re lucky!)
Bolde has been a source of dating and relationship advice for single women around the world since 2014. We combine scientific data, experiential wisdom, and personal anecdotes to provide help and encouragement to those frustrated by the journey to find love. Follow us on Instagram @bolde_media or on Facebook @BoldeMedia