Do Guys Catch Feelings After Hooking Up? Here’s The Truth

There are many ways to assess the key differences between men and women. Most of them can be found in their different response patterns within relationships. It’s all to do with how society has conditioned them. So, do guys catch feelings after hooking up? Read on to find out what’s really going on in their heads and hearts after you sleep together.

  1. Yes, men do develop feelings after having sex with a woman. That’s the short answer. Men aren’t robots — no matter how much they like to pretend otherwise. While they might not catch feelings (or recognize that they have) as fast as women, they do get there eventually. It might just take a little coaxing, as well as a few reminders of what they get with emotional maturity and reciprocal love. But we all have to be taught how to love, and to learn how to be better partners over time. No one, no matter what they think, is born with perfect social skills. Be patient with your partner. Your guy will catch feelings if you’re hooking up — it’s a natural sequence of events off the back of sustained physical intimacy. Physical intimacy isn’t the only indicator, but boy is it a big one.
  2. Men have been conditioned to feel like they don’t need feelings. That sounds dramatic, but don’t pretend that you don’t think it’s true. While women might have a reputation for falling for guys too fast after sex, men have just as much a reputation for performing toxic masculinity. They think it’s a sign of weakness to express their emotions and feelings. But, there’s more complexity to that sweeping statement, because over time guys do come to crave that emotional intimacy. They just have to be shown it first and there’s nothing wrong with that.
  3. They have to trust you first. Men are like women in this way, but they’re less trusting. Again, because men have been told to keep people at bay and maintain a false image of themselves, they will resist catching feelings. It’s likely that this is an unconscious effort. However, the fact remains that they need to trust you in order to love you. In a healthy relationship, anyway. Guys aren’t used to giving up their vulnerability to someone that they don’t know. Don’t be surprised if your guy catches feelings after you show him you can be trusted. We all love proof that we’re in the right place. He might have told you at the start he was only interested in a hookup, but that will change.
  4. It’s all about power. Sex is all about power. But we know that, don’t we? Women care about power, don’t get me wrong. But, the key difference is that we know there’s more to life and relationships and people than power dynamics. Men, again — and sorry if I’m a broken record here — have to learn that with time. Society doesn’t tell them that there are other options available to them than the cookie-cutter mold.
  5. You might catch feelings first. In fact, I’d be surprised if you didn’t. It sounds patronizing, but women are more likely to be more emotionally actualized than men. That means that they can read and code the situation and map out your relationship way before they will. They live in the present – particularly when the present involves hooking up. Don’t be alarmed though. As the rest of my life attests to, this is often a necessary first step in men catching feelings when you’re hooking up.
  6. They’ll come to rely on you. Yes, you have the evidence of a mutual attraction by virtue of the fact that they’re hooking up with you. But, we all want more than that. We deserve it, frankly. Over time, your casual hookup thing will become more and more regular. You will find yourself being invited over for breakfast, or bringing wine to the session. These are all signs that he is growing in interest and getting bolder and bolder. Just wait it out.
  7. You can play hard to get. One tactic that might speed up the process is playing hard to get. Men love the mystery in a relationship. Or, at least, they have been taught to. That doesn’t mean that it isn’t effective, though. Use all the tricks at your disposal to make it click in his mind. Show him what he has and what he takes for granted. Ghost him for a few days and see when he comes crawling back.
  8. He will mature into a relationship. Emotionally, most adult men are still teenagers. Or still living out their teenage fantasies, anyway. That means they won’t have an eye on long-term relationships in the same way as women do, because they don’t think they need them. Or, because they don’t have a healthy representation of what a good relationship looks like. As he matures and grows older and gets more responsibility, he will crave stability in his relationships. That’s when he will open his eyes to his true feelings with a hookup.
Hannah has a Masters degree in Romantic and Victorian literature in Scotland and spends her spare time writing anything from essays to short fiction about the life and times of the frogs in her local pond! She loves musical theatre, football, anything with potatoes, and remains a firm believer that most of the problems in this world can be solved by dancing around the kitchen to ABBA. You can find her on Instagram at @_hannahvic.