14 Dangers Of Falling For A Guy Too Fast

When you finally meet a guy you really click with, it’s natural to want to dive in head-first and give it your all. However, there’s danger in moving too quickly—here are some things that might happen if you don’t slow down:

  1. You might turn a blind eyeWhen you’re crazy about a guy, you only notice his great qualities. This can be risky. What if he has some really fatal flaws, like a violent temper or a wandering eye? Try to reel in your awe of him. You don’t even know him yet.
  2. He could be love-bombing you. It’s easy to get caught up by loads of attention from this great guy. But he might be love-bombing you. That’s when someone tries to use charm, attention, and love to influence or manipulate the person they’re dating. Shady AF. Keep a cool head so you don’t fall for it.
  3. You race through milestones. Whoa, slow down. If you’ve only been dating a few weeks and you’ve already told each other you want to move in together, you’re missing out on fun dating milestones. Those early days will never come back. Enjoy them to the max before moving onto the next phase.
  4. You commit without knowing. You’re really enjoying spending time with this guy and you feel ready to commit to him, but if you don’t really know what he’s about and if he’s worth committing to, you could end up heartbroken.
  5. You fall for the fairytale. Yes, everyone wants the fairytale love, but in reality, it’s actually dangerous AF to think your relationship’s going to be perfect. You can’t call him The One or your soulmate just because you’ve seen him during the best times. Take time to suss things out instead and see what he’s like on a bad day.
  6. You lose your limits. You’re having such a fun time that you don’t even think about your boundaries. So when you realize you’re neglecting your life and friends to be with this guy, it might not seem like a biggie, but it is. Don’t become too close too soon. You should still hold onto your separate lives otherwise you risk extinguishing the flame—or worse, losing yourself.
  7. You throw your wants aside. It’s easy to get swept up by how much you like him and think it’s okay for you to have different values or life goals. WTF? You’re not thinking clearly! That’s why you need time away from him. You want to think about things before you give too much of your time and love to a relationship that might not be long-term.
  8. You don’t see him in different situations. What’s he like when he’s drunk? What’s he like around his friends and around other women? What’s he like at work? You’ll be surprised how different people can be in a range of situations. While you’re enjoying your feelings for him, be sure that you’re paying attention to parts of himself that he might not realize are on display.
  9. You let love lose its appeal. Are you in love or lust? Sorry to say, but if you’ve just met the guy it’s probably lust. Love takes time to build and grow over time, and if you rush it then you’re not getting the full experience of it. It’s like fine wine: it gets better with age. Don’t rush it.
  10. You lose your mind. It’s normal to think about your new guy all the time, but it shouldn’t get in the way of other thoughts you have. If you get into the habit of thinking of him too much, it can cause you to become obsessed or clingy.
  11. You get too comfy. If you’re both so crazy about each other, it can give you a false sense of security. You might feel it’s safe to become comfortable with this guy, even if it’s really not. Besides, you don’t want to kill the mystery and anticipation too soon!
  12. You expect him to complete you. If you get too attached to the guy too quickly, you might start to depend on him for your happiness. There’s a really cool story in “The Mastery of Love” by Don Miguel Ruiz to bear in mind. He writes about a man who makes and eats delicious pizza, then someone comes and makes him an offer. The person tells the man that he can have a different kind of pizza if he allows the person to control his life. If the man was starving, he’d probably take the person up on their offer. But he’s not because he’s making his own pizza and it’s damn delicious. The point: you create your own happiness and shouldn’t depend on your BF to create it for you. That’s a recipe for disaster.
  13. Words are cheap AF. It’s way too easy for someone to tell you how much they like you in the start of a relationship, but words have to be backed by real actions. To be sure that the person’s in it for the long haul and not just hoping to charm the pants off you (literally), take your time before getting attached.
  14. Fast isn’t always better. A dating study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family tracked over 2,700 couples who’d had sex for the first time in their relationships and found that one-third of people broke up before they hit their relationship six-month mark. Scary. If you’re falling into bed too quickly, you risk burning out your relationship. Wait a while and give your relationship something to look forward to.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.