Do You Have A “Toyfriend”? 5 Signs He’s Not Who You Thought He Was

We’ve all been there before: You meet a great guy on a dating app and suddenly you’re texting nonstop, the conversation flowing effortlessly. He seems like a total gentleman, you have a ton in common, and he really makes you laugh. When you finally meet in person, however, he’s nothing like you thought he was. Uh oh, you have a toyfriend on your hands.

  1. He suddenly has zero sense of humor. Via text, he was witty and charming and cracked some jokes that literally made you snort. In person, it’s like he’s completely devoid of a sense of humor. Not only does he not make any jokes, it’s like pulling teeth to get him to so much as smile as any of yours. What the hell?
  2. All that flirting he did is nonexistent now. He had a million and one lines when you were chatting via text, some bordering on downright naughty. He seemed smooth, self-assured, and really hot. In person, his innuendos are nowhere to be seen and if you didn’t know any better, you wouldn’t think he’s interested in you at all.
  3. There’s more than one uncomfortable silence. When you were just texting, the conversation flowed effortlessly, with no awkward lulls in topics to talk about. In person, the opposite is true. It’s not as if you’ve discussed every possible subject on the planet and have nothing left to discuss (and if you have, that’s a problem in and of itself). Why would he be such a master of convo via text and then have nothing to say for himself once you’re face to face?
  4. He’s strangely noncommittal about plans. When you were texting, he was all about making plans for fun things to do together. Once you finally are together, however, he’s suddenly shifty about making future plans. You’d be tempted to think that he just doesn’t like you but you’re sure that’s not it—he just literally doesn’t seem interested in any kind of real connection all of a sudden and you don’t really get it.
  5. You start to wonder if you’ve been Catfished. The guy sitting across from you at the bar or restaurant is so starkly different than the one you’ve been chatting to for the past couple of days or weeks that you almost wonder if you were talking to a totally different person altogether. It’s just not possible for someone to do a 180 so quickly, right?

[H/T Cosmopolitan]


Piper Ryan is a NYC-based writer and matchmaker who works to bring millennials who are sick of dating apps and the bar scene together in an organic and efficient way. To date, she's paired up more than 120 couples, many of whom have gone on to get married. Her work has been highlighted in The New York Times, Time Out New York, The Cut, and many more.

In addition to runnnig her own business, Piper is passionate about charity work, advocating for vulnerable women and children in her local area and across the country. She is currently working on her first book, a non-fiction collection of stories focusing on female empowerment.