Don’t Bother Trying To Get Revenge On Your Ex—Karma Will Do It For You

It’s super tempting to fight back and make your ex-boyfriend hurt as much as he hurt you but, seeking revenge is actually the worst idea ever. You might think it will make you feel better or relieve some of the pain he caused you, but in the long-term, it’s a waste of time and energy. After all, what goes around comes around all on its own.

  1. You always need to be the bigger person. Remember when you got teased and bullied in elementary school and your mom told you to hold your head high and be nice? That’s totally what you have to think about now. If you get revenge, you’re stooping to his level and you’re better than that. Sure, it might feel good in the moment to be petty, but in the long run, you’ll wish you hadn’t bothered. Take the high road this time around rather than trying to get revenge on your ex.
  2. You’ll feel worse, not better. Revenge isn’t actually as satisfying as it seems in the movies or in your head. In a perfect world, you’d immediately feel like a superhero and never miss him and never wish that you could get back together. In reality, this could backfire and you might feel even more heartbroken. The last thing that you want to do is remain in a dark, negative place.
  3. There’s nothing you can do without looking bad. It sounds cool to get revenge on your ex in theory, but what would you actually do? Egg his apartment building? Key his car? You’re just going to look super immature. You don’t want to be heartbroken AND immature. It’s just a bad combination. What if you even get into legal trouble? This guy definitely isn’t worth it.
  4. He’s going to get his from another girl down the line. Do you really think that the next girlfriend he has isn’t going to seriously hurt him? That’s totally what’s going to happen. Sure, you might not know about it, but that’s okay. Think of it as the universe getting revenge for you.
  5. He’s probably treated everyone in his life badly for way too long. If you were in a really bad relationship then it’s safe to say that you weren’t the only one that this guy was mistreating. He’s probably pissed off countless friends and family members by now. Don’t worry about taking revenge on him—he’s going to get his. His karma is just way too bad.
  6. You need to focus on moving on, not looking back. When a relationship ends amicably because you both get that you’re just not meant to be, it sucks. When a toxic relationship ends, it super sucks. You’re full of so much anger and you just don’t even know what to think. But instead of fixating on the past and thinking about how to get your ex back, you should honestly be looking forward. Nothing good happens when you forget that you have a future to focus on. You deserve to create the best future ever for yourself. That has nothing to do with your ex and everything to do with how amazing you are.
  7. You care more about revenge than he does. The truth is that this guy has probably already moved on from you. If he was truly the wrong person for you then he’s not sitting at home mourning the loss of the relationship or wishing that he could fix things. Getting back at him is about you, not him, and he probably wouldn’t even care or notice. There’s really no point. They say that anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die, and honestly, that totally applies here.
  8. You’ve already suffered enough. Being in a horrible relationship is like getting hurt every single day. It just never ends and you can’t escape. Now that you’ve gotten out and things are finally over between you and your ex-boyfriend, why would you keep making yourself upset over this guy? You’ve suffered and there’s no reason to keep that negativity and pain going.
  9. Life and love just aren’t fair. The thing about wanting to get back at someone is that you feel super strongly that you’re right and they’re wrong and it’s just unfair. You’re completely right, it’s not fair, but guess what? Nothing about life or love is fair and makes sense all the time. You just can’t expect the opposite to be true. You have to accept that some things are just too bad and there’s nothing that you can do about them.
  10. The best revenge is finding love again. Honestly, the next time that you meet a guy that you’re into, it’s probably going to work out really well. Why? Because things always get really, really crappy before they get really, really good. You’ve paid your dues in the love department and you’re ready for something real. When you’re happy with someone new, isn’t that the best revenge ever? And all you were doing was living your life. Pretty cool. Let go of the idea of trying to get revenge on your ex. The best revenge is living your best f**king life.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.