Don’t Be the Crazy Girl — 6 Things to Remember When Texting

Texting is a minefield. If you don’t watch your step, you can blow yourself up. Here are 6 things to remember to keep things going smoothly:

The longer your texts, the crazier/needier/more high-maintenance you seem. Men are succinct creatures — that’s why they send those annoying one line texts — so do yourself a favor: when you’re first getting to know a guy, keep it brief. Rambling on and on like we do with our girlfriends doesn’t draw a guy in, it overwhelms his male brain and repels him. So, edit, edit, edit before you send, ladies.

Keep the text ratio even. For every text a guy sends, you should send one text. If he blows you off, don’t write him again hoping he’ll respond. Sending another text just digs you into a deeper hole or, at best, gets you a pity text. Getting a text after you baited him into it isn’t satisfying — what’s satisfying is a guy coming after you hard, unprompted. So if a guy exits a text convo, don’t let it get to you. Get a hold of yourself, go out with your girlfriends, read this, this, and this for support, and wait to see what happens next.

Text-bombing will always leave you feeling pathetic. Sometimes, when a guy goes MIA on text, no matter how hard we try, we just lose our mind. We’ll give in to the crazy bitch that lives in us all and be the first to break the silence. Then, as the minutes turn into hours and he still hasn’t replied, we’ll start pelting his phone with text after text, some of which are fake-cool and others that are totally irate. Finally, he’ll reply with something like, “Hey, forgot my phone at home and am just getting these…” You feel like an idiot. Who knows if he forgot his phone or was just being a jerk but, either way, you’re mortified. Moral of the story: Never ever text-bomb — you just can’t recover from it.

Nothing good comes from text-fighting, ever. Text is not a medium for providing feedback to, or having serious conversations with, dudes. If you have something to say, say it when you’re together. If you don’t feel comfortable saying it to his face, you shouldn’t be saying it all. If you do end up texting him, we can pretty much guarantee it won’t go well. Save yourself the grief and just… step… away… from… the… phone.

Nice girls finish last. On screen and off screen, don’t be the over-pleaser who jumps to respond to his every text with a smiley face at the end of each sentence. That’ll get you nowhere. Like we always say, guys need a little space because they want to chase you and you should work to create that distance. Don’t assume that he wants you to shower him with attention and adoration — that’s what you want because you’re wired to enjoy being chased. Guys are wired differently — they enjoy chasing, not being chased. The next time he writes you, take your time to respond. It doesn’t make you a bitch or a game player — you’re just giving him what he needs.

Mundane texts are useless. Sending him a text about how you just got a mani/pedi with a picture of your freshly painted toes is a cute way to check in but unless he has a foot fetish, he probably doesn’t care. Texting is like any other interaction with a guy — you want to keep things interesting… Sure, it’s not the worst thing to send little texts about what you’re doing and where you’re going but it doesn’t add a whole lot to the chemistry either. If anything, it just makes it obvious he’s on your mind when you should be creating tension and mystery. Again, men need to chase and he can’t chase you if you’re always right there, either in person or on his phone screen.

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