Don’t Let Guys Who Don’t Deserve You Make You Doubt Yourself

How much of your thoughts and feelings go to the guy in your life who’s not able to give you a real commitment? How often do you feel totally drained by how much of yourself you’re giving the guy who’s just not seeing you, and yet you stay with him? It’s time to stop that crap.

  1. You should never give a guy power over you. You might think that you have to be a certain type of person or behave in a certain way in order to get the guy you want to pay attention to you or to keep your relationship on track, but that’s total BS. Don’t give him such power over you. You’re perfect just the way you are, so stop trying to “fix yourself” for someone. If he wants you to change, he needs to GTFO because he doesn’t deserve who you are.
  2. If he’s leaving you hanging and won’t snap out of it, get out. You’re waiting around for him to commit to you but he’s not showing any real signs of doing this, so why should you continue waiting for him? If he deserved you, he’d be snapping you up instead of putting himself in a position to lose you.
  3. So much wasted time goes into trying to make sense of things that it’s not worth it. With guys who don’t deserve you, you spend a lot of time thinking about what they’re up to or what they meant or why their stories don’t match up. It’s exhausting and a total waste of your brilliant mind. Don’t bother.
  4. You feel down most of the time. WTF? The guy you’re with should make you feel good and happy — if he deserves you. If he doesn’t, you’ll be dealing with feelings of dissatisfaction or you’ll be feeling upset a lot of the time. That’s no way to live!
  5. You need to stop making excuses for him. If you’re always making excuses for things he does that make you feel unhappy, the question is why. What are you afraid of facing? Maybe you don’t want to strip away the illusion of what you think he is, but living in denial is no fun. Get real about who he really is and how he makes you feel so you can stop your thoughts, feelings and decisions from being contaminated by someone who isn’t right for you.
  6. You agreed not to get too serious, but screw that. You’re afraid to rock the boat and scare the guy away so you try not to question where things are going or if he’s serious about you, even though you’ve been dating for months. Nah, this is BS. You’re so afraid to scare him away that you’re allowing yourself to be happy with less. Enough is enough!
  7. Nothing good can come of guys who don’t make an effort. If you’re constantly allowing your life to be dominated by a guy who’s not really doing you justice, you’re basically giving him free reign over everything. Um, he’s supposed to earn your time and effort. It’s not something he can just get. You need to set boundaries so you don’t get taken advantage of.
  8. You risk losing sight of who you are and what you want. You might be making decisions for your life based on what he wants, but what about you? Keep doing that and you’ll totally neglect what matters to you, which is a guaranteed way to self-destruct.
  9. You need to uphold your standards. Without standards, the dating game becomes chaotic, with lots of people putting up with crap they don’t deserve. Oh, wait. That is what’s happening because people don’t value and commit to their standards! Don’t let that happen to you. You need to be clear about your standards because you’re worthy of so much more than a lousy guy who tries to stamp all over them.
  10. You don’t need to depend on a guy to feel good. You need to be in control of your own happiness, otherwise it’s really easy to start depending on a guy to make you happy. And if he doesn’t deserve you, he’s not going to be good at that job. So when things are going crappy in your relationship, you’re going to feel bad and when things are going well, you’re going to feel fantastic. It’s like you’ve become a puppet on a string. Screw that. Cut the strings and get your life back.
  11. You shouldn’t sacrifice so much of your life to have himYou had life goals and dreams, but since being with him, you’ve changed your mind or perhaps completely forgotten all about them because your guy thought they were stupid. When you’re about to make decisions, think about if you’re really making them yourself or if you’re influenced by him. If it’s the latter, you need to stop being brainwashed by losers and start thinking about yourself.
  12. You need to flip the power position. You’ve been making him the center of attention so much, but what about you? A guy who deserves you won’t make you feel like you need to stand back in the shadow of his spotlight. NOPE! You need to step out on stage and reclaim your power because otherwise, you’re just wasting it on someone who doesn’t do your life any favors.  
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.