You Don’t Need A Guy To Save You — You Can Save Yourself

While fairytales and chick flicks have convinced women that we should all wait around for our personal Prince Charmings to come and rescue us, that’s BS. While a relationship with a great guy can certainly enhance your life, you certainly don’t need a man to save you — you’re perfectly capable of looking after yourself. Believing otherwise is selling yourself short in some major ways.

  1. You’re no one’s responsibility but your own. Your happiness is your responsibility, and achieving it should never become someone else’s problem. You’re in control of your own life and everything in it, including the things that make you miserable. The power to change those things rests only with you. Sure, love can make you feel even happier than you already are, but it’s certainly not a requirement for living a fulfilling life.
  2. Expecting a guy to save you makes you a jerk. Saving someone is far from quick and painless. It’s messy, emotionally draining, and has no guarantee of success. Putting that burden on an unsuspecting guy is a terrible thing to do. It isn’t a man’s job to save you just because he’s a man.
  3. You should be an equal partner, not a burden. Being a damsel in distress will not give you equal standing in a relationship. If your own insecurity is already making your life difficult, it’s going to make his life difficult as well. Your neediness won’t magically become a cute hobby that he’ll work on in his spare time — it’ll turn into a heavy burden that will eventually make him resent the crap out of you.
  4. If you need saving, you shouldn’t be looking for a relationship. You should be a happy and emotionally stable person before you get involved with anyone else. When you’re fine on your own, you’ll bring good things to the table instead of a lengthy list of problems. You don’t need someone to complete you — you should be complete before you even think of entering the dating pool.
  5. A man is a person, not a support beam. Being supportive of one another is healthy, but if you’re constantly leaning on a guy and seeking approval or reassurance, all that weight is going to come crashing down eventually. Trying to keep a self-destructive person propped up for their own sake is exhausting, and he’s going to hold it against you eventually.
  6. The things you need saving from might be minor. With time, the severity of a lot of your problems will fade. You may think there is something to be saved from now, but those things may not matter at all in the future. When you keep things in perspective, you’ll keep yourself sane.
  7. There are countless ways to improve yourself. You can save yourself by improving yourself, and there are many ways to do that. You can sign up for a gym membership, find a better job, make new friends, or try new hobbies. All of these things can be done on your own without dragging a guy into your drama.
  8. A relationship shouldn’t be treated as life support. When a relationship becomes your only source of happiness, you’re putting a lot of pressure on the guy you’re with. It will become his job to keep you happy, and that isn’t a fair thing to do to someone. If you want to save yourself, you should treat a relationship like an awesome bonus instead of your holy grail.
  9. You should be able to depend on yourself. Reliability is an important quality to have. It means that you’re trustworthy. Trustworthiness makes you a great friend, a great girlfriend, and a great person in general. When you trust yourself, you’ll be able to pick yourself up faster without depending on others to do it for you. Be the kind of person you can rely on.
  10. Saving yourself will make you stronger. When you look back at all of the things you overcame by yourself, you will be proud that you did it on your own. You won’t regret not having a guy around to solve all of your problems for you.
  11. If you truly need saving, you should talk to a therapist. There’s no shame in seeking help for yourself when you need it. A licensed professional is much better equipped to handle certain issues than a random guy is. It is a therapist’s job to work through your issues with you, and their expertise will yield a much better outcome than throwing all of your problems at a boyfriend.
Lauren Clark is a writer and news curator based in Denver, Colorado with bylines here on Bolde and at While she’s vehemently anti-social media, you can find her on LinkedIn.