In an outdated fairy tale or an overrated chick flick, a man might consider it his honor or duty to “save” a lady. In real life, having to save a girl is a gigantic pain in the butt, especially if it’s from herself. You shouldn’t need saving from your own qualities in the first place, but if you do, you’re plenty capable of saving yourself without getting a man involved.
You’re no one’s responsibility but your own.
Your happiness and satisfaction are your responsibility, and achieving them should never become someone else’s problem. You’re in control of your own life and everything in it, including the things that make you miserable. The power to change those things rests only with you.
Expecting a guy to save you makes you a jerk.
Saving someone is far from quick and painless. It’s messy, emotionally draining, and has no guarantee of success. Putting that burden on an unsuspecting guy is a terrible thing to do. It isn’t a man’s job to save you just because he’s a man.
You should be a partner, not a burden.
Being a damsel in distress will not give you equal standing in a relationship. If your own insecurity is already making your life difficult, it’s going to make his life difficult as well. Your neediness won’t magically become a cute hobby that he’ll work on in his spare time — it’ll turn into a heavy burden that will eventually make him resent the crap out of you.
If you need saving, you shouldn’t be looking for a relationship.
You should be a happy and emotionally stable person before you get involved with anyone else. When you’re fine on your own, you’ll bring good things to the table instead of a lengthy list of problems.
A man is a person, not a support beam.
Being supportive of one another is healthy, but if you’re constantly leaning on a guy and seeking approval or reassurance, all that weight is going to come crashing down eventually. Trying to keep a self-destructive person propped up for their own sake is exhausting, and he’s going to hold it against you eventually.
The things you need saving from might be minor.
With time, the severity of a lot of your problems will fade. You may think there is something to be saved from now, but those things may not matter at all in the future. When you keep things in perspective, you’ll keep yourself sane.
There are countless ways to improve yourself.
You can save yourself by improving yourself, and there are many ways to do that. You can sign up for a gym membership, find a better job, make new friends, or try new hobbies. All of these things can be done on your own without dragging a guy into your drama.
A relationship shouldn’t be treated as life support.
When a relationship becomes your only source of happiness, you’re putting a lot of pressure on the guy you’re with. It will become his job to keep you happy, and that isn’t a fair thing to do to someone. If you want to save yourself, you should treat a relationship like an awesome bonus instead of your holy grail.
You should be able to depend on yourself.
Reliability is an important quality to have. It means that you’re trustworthy. Trustworthiness makes you a great friend, a great girlfriend, and a great person in general. When you trust yourself, you’ll be able to pick yourself up faster without depending on others to do it for you. Be the kind of person you can rely on.
Saving yourself will make you stronger.
When you look back at all of the things you overcame by yourself, you will be proud that you did it on your own. You won’t regret not having a guy around to solve all of your problems for you.
If you truly need saving, you should talk to a therapist.
There’s no shame in seeking help for yourself when you need it. A licensed professional is much better equipped to handle certain issues than a random guy is. It is a therapist’s job to work through your issues with you, and their expertise will yield a much better outcome than throwing all of your problems at a boyfriend.
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