I was never into bad boys. Don’t get me wrong—I understood the appeal but they just weren’t for me. I figured one day I’d meet a nice guy and the rest would be, as they say, history. When I finally met one, I ended up dumping him because he was something I didn’t even know was possible—he was TOO nice.
He held doors for me.
I know that doesn’t sound terrible but hear me out. He’d rush ahead of me to get the car door, the movie theater door, or the front door of my house. Basically, any door there ever was, he’d have to open it. What at first seemed like a gentlemanly gesture quickly became an annoyance. I can open my own freakin’ doors, man!
He let people take advantage of him.
I suppose this wasn’t all his fault. In some ways, I think we’re all sort of hardwired to take advantage of nice people. Most of us probably do it without even realizing. Whenever someone would obviously get one over on him, he’d just allow it. I admired his ability to be calm, but why didn’t he care when people walked all over him?
He made too many excuses for others.
Not only did he let people walk all over him like a doormat, he’d defend their behavior! This shocked me to my core. I totally get wanting to see the best in people but sometimes people just aren’t being their best and it’s 100 percent okay to call them out on it. Not so, in his opinion. The excuses he assigned to others were endless.
He was overly concerned with people seeing his niceness.
Everybody knew him as “just the sweetest guy.” In some way, I think this was part of his fascination with being too ridiculously kind all the time. I soon realized he became even nicer when we were out in public. This didn’t sit right with me.
He ended up seeming fake.
To this day, I’m not sure how much of his kindness was an act and how much of it was genuine. Regardless, when someone is just too nice, it always seems fake. It’s just unnatural to always be smiling and always being the best version of yourself.
He treated me like I could do no wrong.
This quality was especially worrisome when I did do things wrong. When I first started seeing him, I wasn’t long out of another relationship. I was bringing a lot of baggage and didn’t always behave like I probably should have. But it didn’t matter—if I’d apologize to him, he always responded with a smile and said something like, “No big deal!” or an emphatic, “Don’t be so hard on yourself!” I would feel relieved initially but deep down, I knew no one should be so accepting and dismissive.
He never put me in my place.
Since he was always dismissive of my failings, he never helped me to see where I could improve. He never even so much as told me to stop when I was being, in my own opinion, a horrible girlfriend. He just accepted whatever I did without questioning or attempting to reign me back in. I’m not saying I think a man should be domineering but shouldn’t he at least have opinions?
He wasn’t passionate about anything.
Until recently, I never realized how closely related passion and anger are to one another. I suppose this is what makes makeup sex so great. When someone is constantly easygoing, they fail to have any one thing to be passionate about. He was so content with everything being what it was that he didn’t have any drive to change anything.
My parents liked him too much.
Is there such a thing as your parents being too in love with your boyfriend? Yes, yes there is. I wasn’t the easiest of my parents’ three children and even to this day, we have a relationship that’s a bit contentious at times. When they met this particular boyfriend, they were over the moon for him. They thought he was absolutely perfect. This was shocking to me considering my parents were quick to point out my flaws. It started to feel like I was competing with my own boyfriend for my parents’ attention. Not fun.
He was too nice to the wrong people.
When you dislike someone, you kind of hope your friends will dislike them too. I especially wanted my boyfriend to be on board with this. Rather than become part of my team or even acknowledge my right to dislike some people, he went out of his way to be on good terms with them. This led to some very awkward moments for me.
His niceness made me seem mean.
I wouldn’t say I am an overly nice person but I’m not terrible either. However, when you’re dating the nicest guy on the entire freaking planet, you just can’t compare. If I wasn’t constantly smiling or going out of my way to Miss Sunshine then I was mean by default.
I eventually did become meaner.
I got so annoyed with always appearing like the mean one. “What’s a nice guy like him doing with a girl like her?” I heard someone say. As I became more frustrated, I also became angrier—and of course, meaner. I was meaner to acquaintances because they judged me unfairly and to my boyfriend because I just wanted him to act like a human. After dumping Mr. Nice Guy, I’m now thankfully much less mean—and I’d like to hope he’s much less nice.
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