Here’s How To Command Girlfriend Status And Never Be Just A Hookup Again

If you wonder why so many guys want to hook up with you instead of making you their girlfriend, it’s possible that you’re making it a little too easy for them to expect a quick hookup instead of a relationship. Here are 14 things to do so you’ll be more likely to end up as his long-term love rather than his fun just for tonight.

1. Only accept real dates.

If you want to be his girlfriend, you have to date him — not just “hang out.” If he invites you to a proper date, like dinner, say yes. If he invites you to Netflix and chill, say no. You want to focus on real dates in which you can get to know each other – not just physically.

2. Be missable.

Don’t be around all the time, such as by contacting him when you haven’t heard from him. Let him miss you and reach out. If you’re always in his line of sight, you’re coming across as desperate. Guys hook up with desperate women, but they don’t become their boyfriends.

3. Get deep.

A guy who sees relationship potential with you will want to talk to you about serious and deep things. So avoid the temptation to keep things light – get deep and real so that he sees you’re not just someone to have a good laugh with but someone he can be serious with.

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5. Toss out the losers and toxic dudes.

You have to weed out the hookups in order to find a guy who’s worth dating. You can do this by spotting signs of inconsistency and mixed messages, such as if he gives you loads of attention one day but then flies under the radar the next. That’s not potential boyfriend behavior!

6. Throw him a clue.

You don’t have to tell him that you want a relationship with him (that might be too much if you’ve only been dating a short while). But you can insert what you’re looking for in casual conversations to get the message across that you want something real. That way, he knows hookups are not on the cards.

7. Be an investment.

Don’t make it too easy for him to have you whenever he wants you. Show him that you’re someone he can invest his time, life and future with. How? By not making yourself too available to him. If you’re easy, he’ll see you as not being worth it.

8. Look beyond the spark.

A physical attraction and chemistry is great, but it’s not where the story ends. You need to focus on what’s beyond that, like a mental and emotional connection. Try to avoid too much physical talk and engage with him about how you’re on the same page in life. This is what will show him you’re more than just a hookup – you’re his future.

9. Have a life.

When you meet a great guy, don’t cater to his needs. Let him fit into your busy schedule and your life’s priorities. Show him that he’s not the most important part of your life, but he can be one part of it if he wants. He’s got to earn that right.

10. Don’t go to bed.

It might be worth waiting a while before you sleep with the guy. If you sleep with him too quickly, you show him that he doesn’t have to invest in you to get relationship perks. Anything he gets too easily will make him think he can just as easily throw it out of his life. He won’t appreciate it.

11. Don’t just make him horny.

It’s too easy to appeal to a man’s physical needs and excite him. Don’t be that girl. Instead of making him horny, make him smile and think. Show him that you’re worth more than a way to keep his bed warm on lonely Saturday nights.

12. Don’t answer booty calls.

If he’s only sending you texts in the early hours, avoid the temptation to talk to him. If you don’t, you’re basically agreeing to a booty call or a flirty texting session. However, if you don’t engage, he’ll quickly get the message that he can’t cheapen his interactions with you.

13. Don’t be desperate to impress.

Don’t try to be what you think he wants in a woman. That can actually make you seem more like a potential hookup than a girlfriend because it’s desperate. You’re much more interesting when you are yourself and you let what makes you an individual shine through. No one wants to date someone who’s a carbon copy of them, anyway. It’s boring!

14. Be more than the party girl.

Of course you want to have fun with the guy when you first get together, so hit up all those cool parties with him. But make sure he sees you for more than that, otherwise, you’re just selling yourself short. And when you do that, you downgrade yourself from potential girlfriend to hookup in a flash.

15. Be cool.

If you come across as clingy, guys are not going to want to date you. They’ll be fine with hooking up with you, though, because they’ll put up with the clingy behavior for as long as it takes to get you into bed. When you hold back instead of chasing him, he’ll want you for more than just a night.

Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.