If You Feel Him Pulling Away, Don’t Give Up These Things Just To Get Him Back

When you feel the guy you love is slipping out of your life, your first instinct might be to do something — anything, in fact — to keep him. But honestly, at what price? If you’re trying so hard to keep him around or win him back, you’ll be losing out on things that you need much more than a man:

  1. Your dignity. If you’re chasing a guy or trying to persuade him to stay with you, you’re just coming across as desperate. It sucks to think that he’ll see you in this way, but it’s even worse for you to see yourself hit rock bottom. You’re worth so much more than that.
  2. Your serenity. You deserve peace and tranquility, not drama and stress. If you’re trying to win him back, you’re just bringing that negativity into your life. You’re probably feeling anxious and worried all the time, and for what? If he wants to leave, let him go. You’ll be better off without that unhealthy relationship in your life.
  3. The truth of your relationship. It’s easy to turn a blind eye to what’s wrong with your relationship and try to make it work. Maybe it’s because you just don’t want to be alone. But it’s never worth it. If you stick with this guy, you’re missing out on the truth of how messed up your relationship is. You need to confront that so that you can break free, because right now, it’s clipping your wings.
  4. The chance to meet your perfect guy. A greater guy is out there for you — the type of guy who wouldn’t lose interest in you. If you convince your current boyfriend to stay with you, you’re really just screwing yourself over and missing out on a chance to be with someone better.
  5. Your energy. Chasing someone and trying to get them to stay with you is freaking exhausting. It pulls all your resources and energy, leaving you depleted. You should never have to be drained in order for your relationship to prosper. Never.
  6. What really matters in your life. By focusing so much on this guy and trying desperately to make a relationship with him work, you’re not giving yourself a chance to focus on what really matters. There are people who love you and things you could be doing with your time that are so much more fulfilling. Don’t let a guy steal those away from you.
  7. Your sanity. Getting the guy might feel euphoric, but not for long. At the back of your mind will always be the fear, “What if he wants to leave me again?” If he did it once, he’s likely to do it again, after all. This can make you stressed and paranoid. You might always be on your guard. If he doesn’t text you for a few hours, you might think that he’s going AWOL again and freak out. Who wants to live like that?
  8. Your faith in love. Honestly, there’s so much more to love and relationships than the chase. That relieved feeling of getting the guy to stay with you wears off really fast, and it won’t have been worth the effort. You should never lose your faith in love by sticking with someone who kills it for you because they don’t appreciate good things in life. You’ll just become bitter.
  9. Your confidence. You might think that a guy who wants to leave you is what zaps your confidence, but it’s really what you do afterward! If you try to hold onto him even when he attempts to fly away, that’s how you kill your self-confidence. You never feel good enough and you’re ashamed of running after him, which then makes you feel worse. It’s a vicious cycle.
  10. Your time. Time is so precious, so why would you want to waste it all on some guy who doesn’t even make the effort to be with you? If he’s got one foot out the door, let him keep walking! He doesn’t deserve another second of your time. A guy should earn your love and time, and he will if he really loves you and deserves to be in your life.
  11. Your belief that you deserve love. This is something that you should never lose: the belief that you deserve love — and not just any love, but the most special one that exists. If you’re trying so hard to keep a man who hurts you, you’re falling into the trap of thinking that you don’t deserve someone who loves you and makes you happy, but you do. You deserve way more than what this loser had to offer.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.