I call myself a feminist, and what that means to me is that men and women should have equal opportunities and rights. That’s as far as I take it, which is why some feminists would look down on me for wanting my guy to pay for stuff. However, I don’t see a problem.
- I like being treated. Who doesn’t? When my boyfriend pays for stuff, it shows me that he loves me. That’s my love language and I’m not ashamed of it. I’ve had boyfriends that were great listeners and friends but couldn’t afford to buy me stuff. It’s not about being shallow, but I honestly felt something was lacking. My boyfriend has a lot of great qualities other than being able to pay for stuff, but every time he treats me, it just makes me that little bit happier. I buy myself stuff all the time, but something about having someone take care of me like that makes me feel extra special.
- If he’s willing, why shouldn’t I let him? Some of you may think that the first time I went out with my boyfriend, I made the check sit in the middle of the table until he picked it. Hell no! I reached for that check and we had a good debate. I let him pay and said I’d get the next one. He said he was more than happy paying for stuff, and that’s how things have been since we got together. I never asked or forced him to pay for anything. Every time I offered to pay or go dutch, he insisted on paying. I’m happy to go along with that.
- I like having someone else plan. While I’ve always been great at handling my finances, factoring another person into them would be a nightmare. I have a great system in place and know how much money to move from my savings account to my current account each week. My boyfriend and I go out a lot and the things we do vary. Having to keep track of all of that and budget for it would just about kill me. I’d rather leave the financial planning to him. He seems excellent at it.
- It makes things so much easier. I’ve seen couples argue over a check when it arrives at the table because of a lack of prior communication. I’ve heard everything from “I paid last time” to “I told you I’m broke right now.” That is never an issue for my boyfriend and me. When we go out, I know he’s paying and so does he. There’s no need for awkward discussion. We keep things moving and have a great time. Money is a huge killer of relationships and our setup helps us avoid that pitfall.
- I’m happy to step in when needed. I’m not just living off of my boyfriend. I pay rent and make my car payments, thank you very much. One day, when we get married, that might change, but for now, I have no problem taking care of myself. When we go out, I like to be treated, but if my boyfriend didn’t have money that day for whatever reason, I’d be more than willing to treat him. It’s not a biggie and I’m not a freeloader.
- He earns more than me. I heard Oprah talk about how happy she is to pay for stuff when she goes out with her friends. Why? Because she earns more than them and they don’t mind. My boyfriend makes more than me and the cost of dinner or a movie is nothing but a blip in his financial radar. We do like going out a lot, so if I had to pay for stuff, it would affect my budget. Why not let the person that earns more pay?
- I feel like more of a lady. I can already see people’s eyes rolling but I don’t care. Maybe this stems from my childhood or my love of 1930s Hollywood movies. It doesn’t matter. I like being treated like a lady. I like it when my boyfriend holds the door for me and when he pulls out his wallet to pay for dinner. It makes me feel good and I’m not going to shut that down because of how it may look to someone else.
- It makes him happy to pay for stuff. My boyfriend enjoys acting like an old-school gentleman. He started opening the car door for me and pulling out my chair. I never once asked him to but he’s continued doing it. We’re both happy with the way things are and there’s no reason for us to change them. My boyfriend and I discuss everything. My opinion weighs as much as his, so while we’re traditional in some aspects, that’s not the case in all of them. I think that in 2018, it’s all about being free to create the life you want, and I want my guy to pay for stuff when we go out.
- It’s a personal choice. For me, the feminist movement all boils down to women having equal opportunity and the ability to exercise a personal choice to take advantage of that opportunity. I earn enough money to pay for the activities my boyfriend and I enjoy. I choose not to in favor of letting him foot the bill. End of story.
