Grown Men Who Can’t Handle Real Feelings Are Almost An Epidemic And I’m Over It

I thought as I got older, guys would get more emotionally mature. I did, so they should too, right? Apparently, I was wrong—I can’t seem to find anyone out there who isn’t a stunted man-child. WTF is going on?

  1. Everyone I pick turns out to be a mess. I thought I was doing better on that front because I’m no longer choosing men who have obvious issues. Unfortunately, the guys I do pick are just better at hiding the fact that they’re disasters on the inside. Freaking terrific.
  2. Emotional maturity shouldn’t be such a rarity. It should be standard for men in their late 20s, 30s, and 40s to have achieved some level of adult behavior but I’m not finding it anywhere. I don’t get it. Why is a guy who has his mental and emotional act together a unicorn?
  3. As soon as a guy starts to really care about me, he freaks out and runs. I have a lot of love to give and I was excited to find someone who wants to receive it and give me the same back. Now I’m realizing that when most men start to actually feel vulnerable, they get scared and push me away. It’s incredibly disheartening.
  4. Men get my hopes up and then crush them. Most guys are great at talking a good game but when it comes down to getting serious, they won’t follow through. They say a bunch of wonderful, pretty words, but when we start to go deeper, they aren’t ready for it. How are they this old and still not ready?
  5. I’m tired of guys wasting my time. If you aren’t emotionally available, leave me alone! What’s so tough about that? Men don’t take what I say seriously, which is a huge pet peeve of mine. If I didn’t mean it, I wouldn’t say it. End of story. I wish guys would take me at my word and if they know they can’t live up to what I want, just go away.
  6. It makes no sense to me that it’s so tough for men to open up. I want a guy with balls. Not a macho man—someone brave and strong enough to feel deeply for me and let me into his mind and heart. If he can’t, then he’ll never be what I deserve. I want a deeply intimate love and I don’t get why that’s so tough for men to participate in.
  7. I do my best to help them feel comfortable but it doesn’t matter. I’m extra supportive and helpful when it comes to getting my guy to feel emotionally safe in the relationship. I do everything I can, but no matter how understanding and patient I am, they don’t make it happen. I worry I’ll never find a man who can give me emotional depth.
  8. Guys can’t deal with my honesty. I believe in living my life with kindness and compassion but also with raw honesty. I have to be true to who I am or it’s not a life worth having. I’m not mean or harsh, but I do tell the truth and express my feelings as they are. I don’t believe in censoring myself with the person I’m with. I want reciprocity in that, but most guys can’t even handle it.
  9. It’s all fun and games until crap gets real. Men are all about me in the beginning, when it’s simple and easy. They think I’m amazing and wonderful and the best thing that ever happened to them – until it starts getting more serious. It’s like they just love the idea of a strong woman but can’t handle the reality of it. I’m over these guys—give me some staying power!
  10. Men like the idea of dating me… until they actually do it. They say they want everything that I am, but then when I actually behave as if my needs are valid and they realize that I’m not going to let them walk all over me, they peace out. It’s ridiculous and it makes me so discouraged. I don’t want to be some fetishized fantasy girl—I want a real, grounded, deep love.
  11. I have no patience for all this stunted behavior. I’ll stop treating men like children when they stop acting like children. I always give them the benefit of the doubt but I’m always sorely disappointed. Grow up already! I’ve done a lot of internal work to better myself and change as a person. If a guy hasn’t, he isn’t for me.
  12. I’m trying to wait for a grown-ass man, but I’m getting discouraged. I know there’s got to be someone for me out there… right? There are still mature, interesting and complex men in the world. I hope. I don’t know at this point. I’m trying to be patient, do my thing, and trust that we’ll find each other. I’m still getting worried that it’ll never happen.
  13. I’m scared that the guy I want doesn’t exist. I want something very specific, and while it’s awesome to know that … I also know that he’ll be tough to find. I’m honestly hoping he finds me because I’m tired of doing all the legwork. Being a strong woman doesn’t mean I want to be the aggressor. I can’t wait to meet a man who gets that and wants to delve into all my complex inner workings.
  14. I just want to love someone who isn’t afraid to love me back. I want a man who appreciates me. I want a man who can hold all of me and assure me that he’s not going anywhere. I want someone capable of accepting and valuing the quality of love that I give. I don’t think that’s too much to ask, but all these man-babies are making me lose faith altogether. Where is my dream dude?
A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at