What It’s Like To Find Your Soulmate Before You’re Ready To Settle Down

What It’s Like To Find Your Soulmate Before You’re Ready To Settle Down ©iStock/CoffeeAndMilk

Some people spend years searching for the right person to spend their lives with. Of course, those of us who find our soulmates early in life aren’t necessarily lucky. Here’s what it’s like to find him earlier than you expected — or in other words, before you’re actually ready to settle down:

  1. You feel like you’re missing out. As much as you love your boyfriend, you can’t help but wonder what it would be like to go out partying with your friends and flirt with strangers on Tinder. You would never give up what you have, but that doesn’t mean you can’t fantasize about living the single life.
  2. You wonder if he realizes how much you care. You hope he doesn’t mind that marriage and children are the last thing on your mind. You’re not ready to wear a ring, but that doesn’t mean you don’t love him.
  3. You’re worried you’re holding him back. When your boyfriend suggests moving in together or having babies, you’re torn. You don’t want to upset him by turning down his offers, but you’re just not ready to take such a big step yet.
  4. You feel horrible for complaining. Even though it bothers you that you’ll never have a one-night stand or your own apartment, you don’t want to voice the complaint. After all, you know how good you have it, so you’d feel like a bitch for complaining.
  5. Your focus is elsewhere. Even though you desperately want to put your boyfriend first, it’s impossible to do when you have so many other things on your plate. You’re so focused on getting your degree, finding a good job, and keeping up with your friends that you don’t have enough time for him.
  6. You try to keep things casual. You really do want to meet his family, but you keep putting it off, because you’re nervous about what it all means. You’re trying to move as slowly as you can get away with, so that you don’t feel overwhelmed.
  7. You don’t understand why he wants you. You know everything there is to know about your soulmate, but you still haven’t “found” yourself yet. It’s hard to believe that your boyfriend knows you well when you don’t even know yourself yet.
  8. You want to explore your other options. Just because you’ve found the love of your life doesn’t mean you’ve stopped looking at other men. You just wish you would’ve met them before you met your soulmate, because now they’re completely off limits.
  9. You try not to rely on him. You want to prove to yourself that you can be successful without a man’s help. That’s why you might upset him by turning down his offers to buy you meals and elaborate gifts.
  10. You don’t want to miss your chance. You know how important timing is when it comes to relationships. You don’t want to make your soulmate wait around until you’ve gotten your partying ways out of your system, because you’re worried you’ll end up losing him if a few years go by.
Holly Riordan is a writer from Long Island, New York who has authored several science fiction and horror books. A graduate of Stony Brook University, she has spent nearly a decade writing for publications including Thought Catalog, Huffington Post, Teen Vogue, and more. You can find her on Instagram @hollyrio and Twitter @hollyyrio.