10 Signs You’re Confusing Lust With Love

Sometimes you meet a guy and fall head over heels in lust. It happens. However, it’s important to see the situation for what it is and not confuse your sexual attraction for real love. Here’s how to tell your feelings for him are limited to your genitals.

  1. You fancy the pants off him more than anything else. You can’t help but stare at him when you’re together because you genuinely think he resembles a Greek god. If you’re honest with yourself, your attraction to him is mostly based on his looks. You guys don’t really talk much when you’re together (if you know what I mean) but when you do, all you can think about is how much you want to rip his clothes off. Oof.
  2. You claim to like him even though you don’t know him very well. You guys have seen each other no more than a handful of times and you’re convinced you’ve caught the feels for him. Wrong! The reality is that you barely know him. Unless you’ve already spoken about exes, old pets and how many cousins he has on his dad’s side, it’s difficult to base emotions on physical attraction alone. If you’re truly attracted to someone, it’s because of the person they are inside.
  3. You only see each other casually. Always go around to each other’s houses as a last minute kind of thang? This is a sure-fire sign that you maybe haven’t connected on a deeper level. If you’re purely in lust, you’re happy with casual hookups because your sexual attraction is on fire. But, maybe you’ve recently realized that you’re not happy with this. Maybe you want more.
  4. Sex is the primary focus. When you do see each other, which isn’t too often, your relationship seems to revolve around sex, plain and simple. There’s not much else going on.
  5. You’ve never been on a proper date. Perhaps you haven’t even been on a wine-and-dine kind of date with this guy because your relationship is based on hookups. If he hasn’t even asked you out, this could be a sign that he’s just in lust with you. After all, if he really wanted to pursue the relationship and see it progress to the next level, he would be constantly bombarding you with requests to go out with him. Think about it.
  6. You don’t really talk unless it’s to arrange a hookup. Any communication that you have when you’re not seeing each other is limited; it usually just involves making last-minute arrangements to see each other (and hook up). Maybe you’ve already tried to make other conversation because you’ve caught feelings but he’s not really feeling it or reciprocating. A lot of your texts go unanswered and he’s kind of difficult to pin down, which seriously sucks.
  7. You’ve only connected on a physical level. If you really think about it, you’ve only ever connected on a physical level. You haven’t had any deep and meaningful conversations or know anything of substance about him. When you see each other and you do talk, it tends to be chitchat as a predecessor to getting down and dirty.
  8. You’ve never spoken about your intentions. You can’t help but assume you’ve got feelings for him even though you’ve never actually identified what you guys are doing. For all you know, you could be on completely separate pages. You’re hoping it’s going to go somewhere, whereas he might see it as just a bit of fun. This is where you need to be careful AF. If you don’t both nail down what you’re doing early on, you could easily end up getting hurt.
  9. You ignore the red flags. If you’re confusing lust with love and you have an inkling that the guy might not feel the same, or want the same things as you, there have probably already been some red flags. However, at this stage, you’re choosing to ignore them. Girl, please. You should always trust your instincts. Perhaps you know deep down that this situation isn’t right, so you should really do something about it now before it gets even more complicated.
  10. You’re letting your heart run away with you. Perhaps you’re secretly hoping that your situation will change and he’ll start asking you on dates and suggesting that he wants commitment, but there’s no indication of that at this point. Wise up, hun. You need to ask him what’s up before this goes any further. You owe yourself that. There’s nothing wrong with a casual situation if both parties are into it but the worst thing you can do is continue hooking up with a guy if you want more and he doesn’t. You’re legit giving him a reason to crap on your heart. You’re better than that.
Katie Davies is a British freelance writer who has built a career creating lifestyle content that caters to the modern woman. When she's not sipping tea, shopping, or exploring a new city, you'll probably find her blogging about her fashion and travel adventures at https://trendytourist.co.uk.