Flying Solo & Loving It: 11 Traits Of People Who Stay Single By Choice

Flying Solo & Loving It: 11 Traits Of People Who Stay Single By Choice

Society often paints being single as a transitional phase, always leading to the ultimate goal of finding a partner. However, for some people, singlehood isn’t a waiting room—it’s the destination of choice. They don’t see their relationship status as a defining feature, and they’re far from the sad stereotypes often depicted in media. These individuals possess certain traits that not only make them content with being single but allow them to thrive in it. Here are 11 personality traits of people who stay single and like it.

1. They’re completely self-sufficient.

People who stay single by choice can look after themselves. They take pride in handling life’s many aspects—financial, emotional, physical—on their own. The idea of needing someone else to take care of them, make decisions, or validate their choices doesn’t sit well with them. They are the do-it-yourselfers of their own lives. This self-reliance isn’t about shunning assistance or living in isolation; it’s about the empowering feeling that they can fend for themselves and that their success and well-being are not tethered to another person.

2. They have a strong sense of independence.

Independence is the hallmark of those who relish their single status. They cherish the freedom to pursue their interests, hobbies, and passions without compromise or the need to align with someone else’s agenda. This independence extends beyond their personal interests; it encompasses their values, goals, and life decisions. They are the masters of their daily schedules and long-term planning, finding joy in the autonomy that single life affords them.

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4. They enjoy their own company.

For some, being alone is a miserable experience, but for happily single individuals, it’s a state of peace. These people are comfortable in their own company and often require a certain amount of solitude to recharge. They use this time to indulge in self-reflection, creative pursuits, or simply to enjoy quiet moments. Far from feeling lonely, they understand the value of connecting deeply with oneself and relish the growth and understanding that comes from such times of solitude.

5. They’re confident in their decision-making.

People who stay single and enjoy it are often confident decision-makers. They trust their judgment and don’t feel the need to rely on others to make choices for them. This trait means they’re less likely to experience decision paralysis and more likely to be proactive in shaping their life’s path. Their confidence in making decisions also extends to how they deal with the outcomes, taking responsibility for their choices without regret.

6. The prioritize personal growth.

Those who prefer to stay single often place a high priority on personal growth and self-improvement. They view life as a series of opportunities for development and learning, and they embrace the time and space that singlehood provides for this pursuit. They’re often lifelong learners, always looking for new skills to master, new knowledge to acquire, and new experiences to broaden their horizons.

7. They have an amazing social circle.

Contrary to the image of the “lonely single person,” those who thrive in singlehood often have rich and varied social networks. They invest time and energy in friendships and have the emotional bandwidth to offer support and companionship to their friends and family. Their social lives are active and fulfilling, with connections that are deep and meaningful, providing them with a sense of community that is not dependent on a romantic partner.

8. They set clear boundaries.

People happy with being single are often very clear about their boundaries. They know what they are willing to tolerate and what they’re not. This clarity allows them to navigate social and personal interactions without the messiness of blurred lines. Their established boundaries mean they don’t feel pressured to change their lifestyle or compromise their values, which contributes to their contentment with singlehood.

9. They know how to manage money well.

Financial autonomy is a common trait among those who enjoy being single. They manage their finances on their own terms and revel in the freedom it gives them. They make financial decisions—like purchasing a home, investing, or splurging on a luxury item—based on their personal discretion. This control over their economic situation is both liberating and empowering.

10. They find joy in the simple things.

Happily single people often have a knack for finding contentment in life’s small pleasures. They don’t wait for a partner to enjoy the finer things in life, whether that’s dining out, traveling, or just enjoying a movie night in. They grant themselves permission to experience joy and pleasure in their day-to-day lives without associating these experiences with the presence of a significant other.

11. They have a strong sense of purpose.

They have goals and ambitions that are not necessarily linked to the presence of a partner. They wake up with a clear idea of what they want to achieve and are motivated by their personal objectives and aspirations. They don’t rely on a partner to give their life meaning; they create it themselves through their career, hobbies, or social contributions. They derive satisfaction from pursuing these goals and feel a sense of accomplishment from achieving them on their own terms. This purpose-driven life provides fulfillment that might otherwise be sought in a relationship, but for them, it comes from within and their chosen pursuits.

Sinead Cafferty is a writer who has authored four collections of poetry: "Dust Settling" (2012); "The Space Between" (2014); "Under, Under, Over" (2016); and "What You Can't Have" (2020). She's currently working on her first novel, a dystopian romance set in the 22nd Century, that's due out in 2024.

Sinead has an MFA in creative writing from NYU and has had residencies with the Vermont Studio Center and the National Center for Writing.