Is He Your Forever Person Or Your Never Person? Here’s How To Tell

He might seem like a great guy you want to have in your life, but make sure he’s not actually a big waste of your time. If he does any of these 12 things, he’s your Never Person, not someone who’s going to be with you forever.

  1. He’s too charming. You might want a guy who’s super endearing, but too much charm can easily make you feel uneasy. Is he trying too hard to impress you? Why? Does he have a hidden agenda? If he’s still turning on the charm after you’ve been dating for a while, it starts to feel like you’re never really getting to see the real him. That’s not a healthy forever-relationship foundation.
  2. He talks a good game. He tells you all the things you want to hear, like how he’s the marrying kind, but then he acts like a single guy on the weekends when he’s out with his friends. His behavior isn’t exactly lining up with his talk of what he wants to be and do in his life.
  3. He’s thrown in the towel. He used to put in effort to make you happy but now it seems like he’s slowing down on doing the work. You want to be with a guy who’s going to work hard in your relationship, not take it for granted or become lazy, leaving you to do everything.
  4. He doesn’t put in work with your family. If he’s going to be in your life forever, he’s going to have to get to know your family and ideally, they should all get along. If he’s not making an effort with your loved ones, it can make you feel unsettled and like he’s not taking the relationship seriously or seeing long-term potential for it.
  5. He’s bad with money. You don’t want to be saddled with a guy who’s in huge debt or throws his money out the window the minute he earns it, leaving you to have to pay his way. If he’s bad with his finances, he’s not the type of guy who has his act together, which means he’ll be pulling your life apart if you end up married to him.
  6. He’s unsupportive of your career. Do you want to be stuck with a guy who’s going to make you feel guilty about working so hard to achieve your dreams, who talks you down from your goal enthusiasm or who’s jealous of your success? Hell no. You want a guy who’s going to support you and encourage you to be the best you can be.
  7. He doesn’t want to tell you about what happened. When he goes out into the world and does things, he should want to tell you about his adventures, not leave you hanging or turning to other people before you. You’re supposed to feel like you and the guy are a team!
  8. He’s on a different wavelength. You don’t have to be exactly the same—that can be boring —but you do want to have some important similarities when it comes to values and life plans. If you’re on totally different pages, you’ll end up compromising too much and risk not getting what you need from the LTR.
  9. He never puts your feelings first. He always seems to focus on his own feelings and needs and rarely makes yours a priority. It means you’re taking a backseat in the relationship and worse, it means that you can’t express your fears, thoughts, and worries with him because he doesn’t consider them. He’s not exactly the type of supportive man you need in your future.
  10. He leaves you with some questions. He’s great and all, but you can’t help but feel a bit uneasy because you’re confused about some things. For example, he still hasn’t made your relationship official or he doesn’t like to talk about marriage even though you’ve been together for years. Your forever person won’t leave you carrying loads of uncertainty into the future.
  11. He needs to be asked for support. When you’re going through a tough time, you have to ask him to be there for you (and maybe even remind him). That’s a huge red flag that you’re not with your forever person. You should know that he’s got your back and will stand beside you for whatever life throws at you because there’s no other place he’d rather be. That is what makes a guy boyfriend and husband material. A guy who slinks into the shadows when you need him most isn’t the one for you.
  12. He doesn’t see you as an equal. There are many signs that point to him not seeing you as an equal partner in the relationship. For example, if he doesn’t respect your opinions and thoughts as much as his or he treats you like you’re a child. It’s screwed up. You want to feel like you and the guy are on equal footing, otherwise, prepare for a lifetime of unhappiness. You don’t need that in your life.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.