When you start dating someone new, it can be hard to figure out whether you have a potential life partner on your hands or just another player. If you’re tired of being messed about, here are nine signs that he’ll never commit so you can get out now.
- Your dates consist of little one-on-one time. If you and your boyfriend are always hanging out with his friends or in places that make having a deep conversation possible, then he’s not ready to commit. A man that wants a future with you will want to take the time to get you to know you better. If he’s always taking you to places where that’s not possible, then he’s getting ready to ghost you.
- He hates making plans. You wouldn’t imagine the number of times I’ve seen players pull this one off. They’ll talk about wanting to go with the flow and be spontaneous, but that’s just code for “I don’t see us being together in a few weeks.” I understand that some people are busier than others, but we’ve all seen a man in love prioritize his relationship, sometimes to the detriment of his career. If your boyfriend isn’t willing to commit to a weekend plan, what makes you think he’s ready to commit to a long-term relationship? If he can’t commit to plans, then he doesn’t like you. Period.
- You’ve never met his family and coworkers. I don’t put a lot of stock into meeting a guy’s friends. After all, there’s no way for you to tell if these are casual bros or the kind he’s had for a lifetime. Coworkers and family, on the other hand, are people that have been in his life for years and will continue to be there. If you’ve never met either of these people, then he’s saving himself the headache of having to explain where you’ve gone in a few weeks.
- He never celebrates or mentions milestones in your relationship. When someone sees a future with you, they like to commemorate little things. You may think that a one month anniversary or going back to the restaurant you first met at is something cheesy, but these are all little signs that someone is interested in building something serious with you. If he never pays attention to these things, it’s because they don’t matter to him and he has no intention of staying with you long-term.
- You always hang out at your place. Homes are a sacred place for most people. It’s where we go to recharge after a long day at work or to hide away when the world is just too hard to face. If you’ve never been to his apartment/house, that’s because he doesn’t want any traces of you in the one place he held sacred when things end very soon.
- He has a wandering eye. The beginning of a relationship is often known as the infatuation stage or the honeymoon period. This is the time when you can’t keep your hands off each other, and when you just don’t have eyes for anyone but this person that you’re falling for. If your boyfriend is checking out other women then he doesn’t respect you or take you seriously.
- You’re the one that always initiates contact or plans. I’m all for women being proactive and getting what they want, but if a guy likes you then he’s going to be the one banging on your door. If he’s perfectly fine not seeing or talking to you for days on end, that means his affections and intentions are elsewhere. Don’t let any guy string you along. You deserve better.
- He’s never shared anything profound with you. Some players are highly skilled. They give just enough information to provide you with a sense of false security, but hold back anything worthwhile. I remember one of my girlfriends proudly sharing stories of lengthy conversations she had with this seemingly perfect guy, only to be shocked when he turned around and dumped her unceremoniously. When I asked her what they talked about, it was mostly about his favorite TV shows and a few college wild stories. Don’t confuse long chats with depth.
- He’s never had a long-term relationship. I’m not really into judging people but this is a red flag in my book. A lot of serial daters are running from something, and until they deal with whatever that is, they aren’t going to commit to you. You can’t change a guy or tie him down, so don’t bother trying. Read the writing on the wall. If he’s never had a long-term relationship at his age, chances are he’s not interested in having one anytime soon.