I don’t know when exactly it happened, but I’ve become the “harsh friend.” I’m the one who tells it like it is while everyone else remains quiet, the friend you love but also kind of hate because she’s such a brutal, pessimistic bitch who’s probably going to die alone. To be honest, I’m kind of sick of it.
People only bring me negative crap. I’m not the friend people want advice from when it comes to what to buy their boyfriends for Valentine’s Day; I’m the friend people want advice from on how to dump their current significant partner or need to know what to do when they’re pissed off at their guys for not calling, texting, or Snapping back. I’m the one they bombard with questions when, and only when, they’re looking for a cynical opinion. Why can’t I get the positive stuff?!
I hate being called “harsh.” I’m not a harsh person, I’m a realist, and unlike other people who don’t really feel the need to share their thoughts, I do. So when a friend tells me that a guy she’s “interested in” hasn’t texted her back for a week and he’s not dead, yeah, I’m going to say he must not be into her because that’s the damn truth.
My friends lead with my honesty. Whenever one of my friends brings a new friend or boyfriend into the group, they always introduce me the same way: “This is Jordan. She’s very, very honest. Don’t be scared.” Don’t be scared?! What does that say to a stranger just meeting me? It makes them think I’m a complete bitch, which is slightly true, but I’d like them to have a short conversation with me so they can draw their own conclusion.
I’m considered incredibly insensitive. I’m actually incredibly empathetic and that’s why I’m always so upfront and honest. I tell people what I’d like to know myself if the situation was reversed, and I get so passionate about what I’m saying because I care about the people I’m talking to. My friends should take it as a compliment that I care enough about them to try to help.
I have to work too hard to be seen as “nice.” No one ever thinks I’m being serious! I have to be extra-smiley and add way more personality whenever I compliment someone for them to believe I’m being genuine. Seriously, I told my friend I loved her shoes and she stopped dead in her tracks and stared at me as if she was trying to crack an FBI case. Why do people assume I’m being sarcastic whenever I’m being nice?!
I don’t like being seen as a know-it-all. Another downside of being honest is that people come to me with questions about stuff I know nothing about and then expect me to have the answer. My friend literally asked me whether she should apply for a new job or keep the job she currently has. Um, do I look like a career counselor? When I told her she should probably stay where she is, she got mad at me. What the hell?
I have to constantly censor myself. Because people can’t handle extreme honesty, I’ve had to really tone it down to avoid offending people or hurting their feelings. Instead of calling them dumbasses for taking the guy back who clearly micro-cheated on them, I calmly (and nicely) tell them that maybe it’s not the best idea. My point is made but without curse words, I don’t believe it’s as effective as it could be.
It’s annoying to hear so much BS. No offense to my friends—I love them dearly but they have way too much drama and most of it (all of it) is completely focused on the men in their lives. Every day there’s something to freak out about. “He didn’t text me back,” “His ex-girlfriend liked his post,” “He didn’t tell me he was working out,” blah blah blah. It feels like they just want something to talk about so they can feel relevant.
I’m always the loud one. I’m not afraid to be honest, which means I’m always the girl in the squad who has to speak up when something is off. When we’ve been waiting too long to be seated at a restaurant, I’m the one who has to complain. When we want to grab drinks at the bar, I’m the one who has to maneuver through the noise to shout at the bartender. I’m the one who has to make a scene when a scene is required and that’s exhausting! Every once in a while, it would be nice to sit down and watch someone else scream at the drunk guy who said something explicit to my girls.
People think I’m too cool for love. I understand that I seem like a very confident person who’s not afraid to speak her mind, and that’s true. However, that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be in a relationship. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to spend some time overanalyzing a guy’s text or spending all day trying to figure out what to wear on a date. I want to feel love too, people.
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