You have an incredible friendship, but you’ve noticed lately that you’re hoping for something more. Ugh! Getting over a crush on a friend is rough, especially when you’re hanging out all the time. If you’re struggling to see them platonically these days, here are some tips to get rid of your romantic feelings and go back to being BFF.
Tips for getting over a crush on a friend
- Give yourself time to process your feelings. It’s okay to take some time to work through your emotions and figure out what you’re feeling. You can’t just brush your feelings under the carpet and expect them to go away. Getting over a crush on a friend means examining your feelings and working through them to come out the other side.
- Set realistic expectations. While you’re into them, they might not be into you. It’s important to understand that your friend may not have the same feelings for you, and that’s okay. They might already be in a relationship, prefer preserving your friendship, or they may simply not be interested. Admittedly, that sucks, but you have to face the facts.
- Avoid spending too much time with them. If you’re finding it difficult to get over your crush, it may be helpful to limit the amount of time you spend with them. You don’t have to cut the friendship off indefinitely, but a little distance can go a long way in resolving your feelings.
- Turn yourself off them. Focus on the qualities they have that you’re not all that into. Maybe they have a habit you find strange or a quality that’s off-putting. They’re not enough to make you dislike them as a friend, but you can use them to trick yourself into getting over them.
- Find ways to distract yourself. Do other things you enjoy to help take your mind off of your crush. They’re not the center of your universe, after all. The less time you have to think about them, the less into them you’ll be. (At least that’s the idea.)
- Talk to your other friends about it. Talking about your feelings with someone you trust can help you process them. Admittedly, this might be a bit awkward, so maybe don’t choose a mutual friend. You can also talk to a sibling, parent, or other relative, as that’s pretty low-stakes.
- Talk to your therapist about it. A mental health professional can help you work through your emotions and provide you with coping strategies. If you’re not already in therapy, this may not be enough of a push to start. However, if you are, don’t bottle this up!
- Practice self-care. Take care of your physical and emotional needs by getting enough sleep, eating well, and exercising regularly. This doesn’t just help when it comes to getting over a crush on a friend, it just makes you feel better in general.
- Cut yourself some slack. Remember that it’s not your fault that you have feelings for your friend. You can’t help who you like. You’re also not weird and nothing is wrong with you. It’s a crush and relatively harmless if handled well. Try not to freak out.
- Be honest with yourself. If you find yourself struggling to let go of your feelings, acknowledge that and take steps to address it. Simply pretending that you’re over it or don’t care really won’t help. Own up to your crush so you can move on from it.
- Avoid putting pressure on your friend. Don’t make your crush the focus of your interactions. Whether or not they’re aware of your feelings, try not to change your behavior. After all, you’re friends first. Making things awkward will not only fail to get their romantic interest, but it may also ruin your platonic relationship.
- Find a new romantic interest. Redirecting your energy toward someone else can help you move on. That being said, don’t just throw yourself at someone else for the sake of it. You can’t really resolve feelings that way. Of course, a little makeout session or fun date never did anyone any harm.
- Be patient. Getting over a crush can take time, but with time and patience, it’ll happen. You probably want it done and over with, we know. You’ll get there.
How long does a crush on a friend usually last?
Sadly, there’s no definitive answer to this question. How long a crush on a friend lasts can vary widely depending on the person and the circumstances. In some cases, a crush may last only a few weeks or months before it fades away, while in other cases it can last for much longer. The intensity of the crush, whether or not it’s reciprocated, and other factors such as your personality and life circumstances can all influence how long your feelings last. It’s important to remember that it’s normal to have feelings for people, even friends. Not only that, but it’s possible to work through these feelings and move on with time and effort.
Should you tell your friend you have a crush on them?
Deciding whether or not to tell a friend that you have a crush on them is a personal decision that only you can make. It’s important to consider the potential consequences of sharing your feelings, including the impact on your friendship and the possibility of rejection. Here are a few things to keep in mind.
- Consider your friend’s feelings. Think about how your friend might react if you tell them about your crush. If they don’t feel the same way, it could make things awkward between you or even damage your friendship. Getting over the crush on your friend might be easier (and preferable).
- Think about your own feelings. Be honest with yourself about your motivations for wanting to share your feelings. Are you doing it because you genuinely think they might feel the same, or are you doing it to alleviate the pressure you’re feeling from holding it in?
- Weigh the risks and benefits. Consider the potential benefits of telling them how you feel, such as the possibility of a romantic relationship. At the same time, be realistic about the potential risks, such as the possibility of rejection or damage to your friendship.
- Respect your friend’s decision. Remember that your friend has the right to their own feelings and choices. If they don’t feel the same way, respect their decision and give them space. Don’t force it or lash out if they don’t feel the same. Accept it with grace and wait for the dust to settle. Hopefully, you can still enjoy a solid friendship.
