I Have A Great Life, But I’m Afraid I’ll Never Be Truly Happy Without Love

All my life I wanted to find “The One.” I’ve never once given up hope, though I have come dangerously close on more than occasion. Still, I believe the right guy for me is out there, I just have to find him, because while I have an incredibly full life without love, I’m afraid that I’ll never be truly happy without it — here’s why:

  1. Everything is better with real, lasting love. It doesn’t matter what kind of life you lead if you have true love. You could be dirt poor and happier than someone who has millions of dollars in the bank because of that one simple thing. I’m one of those people that just won’t be fully satisfied until I have it.
  2. My accomplishments alone just seem mundane. All of my achievements feel like things I’ve done not because I want to be successful, but because that’s life and people are supposed to go out and get stuff done. Without that loving partner in my corner, though, I don’t feel accomplished. I feel like I’m just going through the run-of-the-mill motions of life and whatever successes come my way are sort of empty.
  3. Yeah, I’m self-sufficient and independent, but I don’t really want to be. I’ve built an amazingly successful, full life and I should be happy with everything I have instead of miserable because of the one thing I don’t. The thing is, though, I’m sick of doing things only for myself. Not only to do I want to accomplish things with someone else at my side, I want to be able to give my all to someone else, and the only way I’ll be able to do that is by finding my person.
  4. It always feels like something is missing. My full life just feels empty and that’s because I don’t have love. I think I put too much emphasis on finding “The One” because I’ve already accomplished everything I’ve ever set out to do. I continue to have other aspirations, but without love, I don’t feel as though I have any reason to set my sights higher. It’s that ‘why bother’ mentality that’s keeping me unhappy and I don’t know how to change it.
  5. I keep growing… alone. I keep becoming a better person but while all my friends are pairing up and winning at life in partnerships, I’m doing it alone. I feel completely desolate in my life and it has everything to do with all the romantic love happening around me, but not TO me. It’s just frustrating.
  6. I’m starting to think I’ll never actually be happy, which is depressing AF. I’ve tried to be grateful and tell myself it’ll happen when it happens, but my impatience is driving me to depression. This one thing shouldn’t have this much control over how I feel about my life but it does and I can’t seem to help myself.
  7. I know that if I keep putting out this negativity, it really won’t ever happen. The longer it takes for me to find that great love, the worse off I’ll be when it does finally come along. No one wants to fall in love with someone who’s bitter, cynical, and desperate, so I’m really just hurting myself by being so fixated on finding a guy. I’m further away from happiness than ever before.
  8. I’m standing in the way of my own happiness but I don’t know how to move. With my constant need for love comes my constant inability to be happy regardless of what other great things are happening to me. I’m stubborn when it comes to allowing myself to be happy at the same time as not being in love. I’m not choosing to be happy because I know what I truly want and am fully aware that I don’t yet have it. It’s absolutely ridiculous and kind of pathetic, I know.
  9. I’m trying to change, but that’s easier said than done. I act happy 90% of the time, and sometimes I can even convince myself that I actually am — after all, I have so much to be grateful for. But at the same time, it’s like I’m hardwired to obsess over what I don’t have instead of appreciating what I do.It’s been so far ingrained in me that it’s become intrinsic.
  10. Love really is all I want, because what is life without it? It’s the only thing I don’t have and it would make my life complete. I literally have everything else I’ve ever truly wanted. I’m simple in my needs, but love seems harder to find and keep than anything else. Hopefully one day I’ll succeed, but I know I need to learn to be okay without it in the meantime.
Angelica Bottaro has a bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Trent University and an Advanced Diploma in Journalism from Centennial College. She began her career as a freelance writer in 2014, racking up bylines in The Good Men Project, MakeWell, LymeTime, YouQueen, and more. She eventually shifted her focus and began writing about mental health, nutrition, and chronic disease for VeryWell Health.

You can follow her on Facebook or check out her website at AngelicaBottaro.ca. She also posts on Instagram @a.ct._b and Twitter @angiiebee.