Guys Love Me When I’m A Bitch But Lose Interest When I’m Sweet — WTF?

I’ll admit that I have a tough, sarcastic side o me and I’m proud of it — but while a love of banter and biting humor are certainly a part of who I am, it’s definitely not the whole picture. Unfortunately, that doesn’t go over too well when I’m dating. Guys seem to prefer the harsher side of me and most tend to lose interest when I open up and show my softer side. WTF? It’s serious BS.

  1. Men love my natural sarcasm and sass. Yes, that is a big part of my personality. I’m silly and I have a dry sense of humor. That doesn’t mean that I’m mean, crappy, or judgmental. I just like to give guys crap in a playful way, and they seem to like it when I do.
  2. That is me, but it’s only part of me! Cool, we can joke around, but that doesn’t mean I want to do that forever. If I start seeing someone, I don’t want to keep up banter the whole time. That’s exhausting, and I’m not a stand-up comedian. I’m a complex person and that should be a good thing.
  3. So many guys are only attracted to me when I talk crap. My favorite thing? That they’re shocked when I don’t want to act crappy to each other all the time. Sure, that’s how we started talking, but I’m an intelligent and well-rounded human being. Can we please have an intellectual conversation or talk about our real feelings? God forbid we get real with each other.
  4. When I show my feelings or get emotional in any way, it weirds them out. Yes, I’m still a woman — and a person, for that matter. I have multiple facets! Whoa! What a concept! I can’t stand it when a guy is turned off by my genuine, quiet, soft side. That’s as much a part of me as my wit and sarcasm.
  5. It comes across as too serious to them when I act normal. It’s ridiculous, but somehow I’m not the fun, cool girl anymore if I don’t feel like joking around that day. I just want to chill, be quiet and spend some time on my own thoughts, and suddenly I’m just not a good time. Get over yourself, buddy. It’s not appealing when you’re always on stage.
  6. If I maintain the banter, it’s like we never have to become more than casual. Oh, lucky him! We can just talk crap and flirt and “hang out” forever. I think not. So many guys get scared and run when I try to get past that, but whatever. Those are definitely not the men I want. Grow up, dudes. I’m so over this whole non-dating dating culture.
  7. A lot of men are terrified to feel feelings. Oh, jeez, I’m sorry. Did I ask you to act like a person and not an emotionless douchebag? My bad. If I stop being bitchy and treating them like crap and instead start behaving like I actually care about them, most guys freak the hell out. God forbid they have to treat me like a girl who deserves some consideration and not just some random they spend time with once in a while.
  8. They’re bored by my sweet, vulnerable side. First of all, they’re surprised I have one. Seriously? I guess there are some women out there who are just horrible bitches, but I have a hard time believe most people are that one-dimensional. I guess maybe my complexity isn’t convenient. Too bad. I say sweet things, they get awkward and ghost out. Typical.
  9. I refuse to keep up some stupid act to make a guy feel comfortable. It’s a waste of my time and energy. If he can’t handle honest, open communication and conversation, I don’t want anything to do with him. Joking around is only fun for a while, and even then only part of the time. It’s too tiring to try and maintain that kind of weird, impersonal relationship.
  10. If he can’t handle my many facets, he can go find a real bitch! They’re out there. I’m sure he can get one if he really tries. After all, he’s turning out to be quite the jerk. He should go find his real soulmate — a girl who has no soul at all. I’m a creature of many moods, interests, and styles of communication. I believe that the right guy will find that fascinating, not repulsive. Best of luck to all the idiots who don’t get it!
A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at amyhorton.net.
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