Guys, Here’s Why You’ll Live To Regret Letting An Amazing Woman Go

When you start dating an amazing woman, it’s easy to get complacent. You get so accustomed to the way she treats you that you might start to take advantage of it, and soon, you might even leave her for the prospect of something “better.” It might seem like a good choice at first, but this is why you’ll soon learn that you really, really messed up by letting her go.

  1. She’ll give you everything she has. It’s rare to find a partner who pours everything into a relationship, and you’ll realize just how rare it is when you let her go. You’ll have casual relationships with other women, but when they don’t put forth the effort to keep you that this amazing woman did, you’ll find yourself longing for the “good morning” texts, the little just-thinking-about-you gifts, and the honesty that she gave you until you started to take her for granted.
  2. Yes, you’ll miss being called on your crap. It’s easy to stay silent to keep the peace, but a truly amazing woman would rather solve problems head-on, even if it makes things temporarily uncomfortable. She has standards and knows how to stick up for herself, and even though it might’ve gotten on your nerves while you were together, it’s going to bother you a lot more when your bad qualities go unchecked.
  3. You’ll also realize how much she let you get away with. You probably thought she was “naggy,” but really, this amazing woman knew how to pick her battles. She valued her own happiness, of course, but she also valued yours, and that meant that she accepted your flaws along with all the things she liked about you. It won’t be until you date girls who try to change you that you’ll see how much of your crap she took with a smile on her face.
  4. You’ll miss her presence more than you missed casual sex. Maybe you let her go because the prospect of hooking up with whoever you wanted was more appealing than the prospect of committing to one person. But once the excitement of reactivating your online dating accounts wears off, you’re going to realize that there’s no one-night stand out there that could compare to the way she made you feel. The comfort you once thought was “boring” will be something you crave, and no matter how many new people wake up in your bed, none of them will ever fill the space left by such an amazing woman.
  5. No one will look at you the way she did. Remember the way you’d catch her staring at you like you were a masterpiece in a museum? She thought you were the greatest thing she’d ever seen, and when she looked at you with adoration in her eyes, she wasn’t just admiring your physical features — she was admiring all of you. She saw all of your good and bad qualities mixed together and still thought you were a beautiful human being. You’ll find plenty of women who will look at you, but none of them will ever see you the way this amazing woman did.
  6. The things that annoyed you will be the things you long for. When you first start to miss her, you might find a silver lining in the fact that you no longer have to deal with all her obnoxious “quirks.” The way she threw her dirty clothes on a chair instead of the hamper, the way she refused to leave the house without doing her eyebrows, the way she talked in her sleep — you thought it would be a relief to get away from it all, but the truth is that you’ll miss those things more than you missed the things that initially attracted you to this amazing, incredible woman.
  7. You’ll realize that she really did try. Any other woman would’ve given up on you multiple times throughout your relationship, but not this one. Every time things went wrong, this amazing woman put forth the effort to see how she could fix it. She sacrificed so much even when she felt like it might not be worth it, and you’ll realize just how much she went through when the other girls you date give up as soon as things get hard.
  8. You’ll think she was an average girl — then learn you were dead wrong. She never thought twice about all the things she did for you… and frankly, neither did you. You got so used to this amazing woman treating you like gold that you began to think that she was the norm. When you let her go, you probably thought it would be easy to find someone who would treat you like she did, but you’ll soon discover that you had something rare when you had her. Letting her go was like throwing away a precious gem that you thought was a penny.
  9. You’ll bury the parts of yourself that she brought out. A truly amazing woman will bring out the best in her partner and she was no exception. When you were with her, you were the best version of yourself and now that she’s gone, that part of you will be left right back where it was before she came along. You won’t just end up missing her — you’ll end up missing the person you were when she was with you.
  10. By the time you realize what you lost, she’ll be long gone. You won’t be blind to your mistake forever. Eventually, you’ll realize that you messed up. You might try to get her back, and there was a time when she would’ve welcomed you back into her life with open arms. But by the time you see the error of your ways, she’ll have already moved on. This amazing woman won’t think about you anymore, and whether she’s with someone else or thriving on her own, she’ll have learned that you leaving her was a blessing in disguise. You, on the other hand, will forever have to live with the fact that you let go of one of the best things that could’ve ever happened to you.

So you lost an incredible woman — what now?

You really messed up by letting her go, and while you might be sorry, don’t try to convince yourself that she’ll come back because she won’t. You can’t change the past, but you can reframe the future. If you don’t want to lose out on an amazing woman in the future, here are some things to do.

  1. Get your sh-t together. At the end of the day, whatever you did to lose such an amazing woman will happen again and again if you don’t get your act together. If you have commitment issues, you’re a compulsive cheater, you can’t stop lying, whatever — it’s absolutely vital that you work on these issues and solve them so that when you start your next relationship, you don’t repeat the same mistakes.
  2. Never, ever take her for granted. When you’ve been with someone for a little while, it’s natural that you start to get comfortable. However, being comfortable doesn’t mean being complacent. Don’t ever take the things she does for you, no matter how small, for granted. Don’t assume that she’ll forgive you or put up with your BS time and time again so you don’t need to treat her right. An amazing woman likely knows she’s amazing and she won’t stick around for someone who doesn’t treat her accordingly.
  3. Love her the way she deserves to be loved. You can’t half-ass things with an amazing woman. If you recognize all of these wonderful qualities she has that made you fall for her in the first place, honor and value those by showing her affection and attention. Let her know how much you appreciate her presence in your life. If you don’t, someone else will.
  4. Treat her the way you would want to be treated. That means not being unfaithful, lying to her face, sneaking around, neglecting her, playing games, belittling her, or any other toxic behavior you may have engaged in with previous partners. An amazing woman should be treated like the queen she is, but the very least you can do is show her respect and consideration. All human beings deserve that.
  5. Vow to do better. You messed up bigtime and you lost out on an amazing woman. No use crying over spilled milk, as they say. Instead, make a promise to yourself that next time, you’re going to do better. Then, actually do it. It really is that simple.
Averi is a word nerd and Brazilian jiu jitsu brown belt. She's also a TEFL/TESOL-certified ESL teacher and an equine enthusiast. Originally from Pennsylvania, she lived in Costa Rica for a while before moving to Australia. In addition to her work as a writer and editor for Bolde, she also has bylines with Little Things and regularly writes for Jiu-Jitsu Times.

You can follow Averi on Instagram @bjjaveri or on Twitter under the same handle.