It’s cool to have an idea of what you’re looking for in a guy, but it can also set you up for failure and disappointment if your “type” is too detailed. You have to have standards, of course, but it shouldn’t be a no-budge list where you’re dismissing potentially awesome matches based on a few shortcomings. If you’re looking for love, it’s probably a good idea to throw out your preconceived notions and be more open to guys that fall outside of your ideal. You never know, you just might fall for someone completely unexpected.
- It takes the fun out of getting to know someone. When you’re constantly analyzing a person to see if they contain the key components to tick off all your boxes, it takes the fun out of acknowledging those awesome little details, like that his favorite movie is Toy Story 3 or that he spends his free time volunteering at an animal shelter. You might find that where he’s lacking in one area, he thrives in another that you never realized you wanted.
- It sets extreme limits for no real reason. Having a predetermined type in mind makes dating into an exhausting experience. Having a preference is one thing, but when you start to write guys off completely for a minor detail pertaining to one area – say, for example, his career field — you’re pointlessly missing out on what could be love.
- It’s fun to explore different types. Exploring different personalities and looks is all part of the fun. So what, you dated bearded burly men in the past and know that’s what you like? Don’t bypass the computer guy with glasses just because you think he’s not your “type.” He could completely take you by surprise.
- You don’t recognize the chemistry. Being fixated on the qualities you’re looking for might make you miss out on the actual chemistry that’s between you. Are you going to be able to feel the connection when you’re so focused on the details? Probably not. Sure, sometimes those qualities you want add to the chemistry, but in reality, it’s about the vibe between two people, not what he’s wearing or the fact he laughs louder than a dinosaur.
- It can be deflating. If you’ve been searching for a while, maybe it’s time to change it up and re-evaluate your list. Instead of always searching for the same type of guy, switch it up and go out with someone completely different. Why not? The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
- It’s unnecessary. No one really needs to define a type. When push comes to shove, the only thing that really matters is that your morals align and that you’re attracted to each other and enjoy being in each other’s company. That’s the foundation you need to start building a solid relationship. Attraction is obviously a big part of it, but just like so many people end up falling for their friends in life, attraction isn’t necessarily an ‘at first sight’ thing. Loosen the reigns a little.
- It prevents you from having real fun. Who wants to go on dates that feel like job interviews, anyway? It’s more fun to relax and let things unfold naturally. Defy your own norms and be a little more open in your search. It could end up being the best thing you do for your romantic life.