Here’s How You Know You’ve Finally Met The Guy You’re Meant To Be With

You may be wondering if it is finally time to hang up the Single Ladies sash and become one of the wedded. Love is exciting but also very complicated, so we are here to help you navigate all the weird ups and downs and conflicting nonsense to know for sure that you’re with Mr. Right Now and Forever.

  1. You don’t always miss him when he’s gone. Co-dependency isn’t something to strive for, despite how romance culture has trained us to pine for our beloved every moment we are parted. Whether it be from a work day or a work trip or a night out with the boys, you know he’s coming back, so you can thoroughly enjoy your alone time.
  2. When do miss him, you kind of like it. You aren’t a puddle of woe at the emptiness your absent lover has left you with, which is good. But there are moments, a hell of a lot of them, that remind you of him so much that it does feel just a little bit empty. Yet, that emptiness isn’t all bad; you’re happy because you love someone enough to miss, and again, you know he’ll come back to you.
  3. He has his own interests, and you have yours. A big part of what makes dating fun is trying new things and discovering new interests. You’ve tried new activities with him; maybe you like fishing now, but disc golf just isn’t for you. He enjoyed the salsa dance class with you but opted to stay home for the next Painting With a Twist. You can support each other’s interests, even though you find them boring.
  4. You can talk candidly about each other’s friends. New relationships involve a lot of biting your tongue, which gradually fades as your anniversaries add up. By now you’ve been together long enough that you can tell him that the reason you don’t want to go to the Superbowl Party is that his childhood friend Dave will be there and good god Dave suuucks. In turn, you don’t get defensive when he tells you that he doesn’t want to invite Becky to the New Year’s Party because she is soo annoying when she drinks ugh Becky is the worst.
  5. No one feels jealous anymore. Early on your blood probably boiled at the sight of the cute female bartender winking at him when he was ordering drinks. He might have gotten heated when he overheard a guy offering to buy you a drink. At this point, however, it’s just laughed off. All anyone else can do is swing and miss. You two are in love, and no busty bartenders or buff bro-dudes can change that.
  6. You can identify personal improvements. Think back to when you first started dating and what you fought about that you don’t anymore. Maybe he’s become better at communicating when he’s upset. Maybe you take more personal responsibility for your mistakes. Take inventory of your priorities now versus then. If you can see that you’ve grown together, then you’re all set to continue that growth till you’re both old and gross.
  7. Growing old doesn’t seem so scary. I don’t mean “growing old” as in “getting closer to death.” I mean “growing old” as in “becoming our parents.” You’ve been to enough family Christmases and Fourth of Julys by now to see the similarities between him and his dad, and maybe now you realize the unsettling source of some of his faults. Yet, the prospect doesn’t frighten you. Especially considering the ways he must see you mirroring your mother. If he still loves you despite that, then hold onto him.
  8. Quarantine doesn’t ruin you. COVID-19 has been an absolute nightmare, but if you live with your boyfriend and you come out of quarantine still strong, then soulmates must be real and you found yours. Bravo!
Johanna is a proud longtime resident of the Finger Lakes in Western New York and a gaudy jewelry enthusiast. This ambitious early-thirty-something can often be found declining event invites on Facebook and looking at pictures of her niece while she drinks wine on her couch, accompanied by her beloved dog, Dorothy Barker.
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