Be Honest — You’re Only Thinking About Your Ex Because You’re Bored AF

Repeat after me: “I don’t really like him, I’m just bored.” Now say it a few more times until you actually believe it! You don’t want to date him again. You didn’t even like him when you two were together — he’s just creeping back into your mind because you’re lonely. Trust me, it doesn’t mean anything! You don’t really want to get back together, you’re just bored AF right now — here’s how you know for sure:

  1. Your relationship was short. How long was your relationship? Like, a month or two? Exactly! It’s not like you guys were friends for years and now you feel empty without him in your life. Your relationship was bleak and uneventful — you never even said I love you (except that one time you blurted it out during sex). And let’s be honest, did you even really like him? He was a crush that went a little too far one night, thanks to a strong sip of “fruit punch.” You still don’t even know how you guys started dating — the relationship happened fast, and it ended even faster. There’s no reason for you guys to get back together, and you know it.
  2. You haven’t seen him in a while. When was the last time you saw this guy? More importantly, when was the last time you even texted him first? Even when you two were dating, he never held your attention for long. You’re not a bitch, you’re just being honest — your ex was the most uninteresting relationship you’ve ever had. You’re only thinking about him because you think he’s the kind of guy that will always be there for you. You think he’s the type of ex you can use, but that’s not fair to him — and it’s definitely not fair to you. Life’s too short for you to be wasting your time on someone you don’t have real feelings for.
  3. He annoyed the hell out of you. Remember every lame joke he ever made? Or, how he would shower you with a little too much affection — the kid annoyed you! You broke up with him purely because of his personality. He was a nice guy, but you had nothing in common. You liked to watch “Keeping up with the Kardashians” every Sunday and he didn’t even know who Kim Kardashian was. How could a relationship form from that? If it didn’t work before, it’s not going to work now — and if you’re honest with yourself, you’ll realize you don’t want it to.
  4. You’ve recently become single. Your relationship just ended and now you’re lonely — been there! You want to forget your pain, and what better way than talking to someone else, right? We’ve all heard the saying, “The best way to get over an old guy is by getting under a new one.” I agree, talking to a new guy can help suppress your pain, but not forever. If you get back together with your ex, it won’t be long until you two break up again. He’ll be a good distraction until you realize he’s just that — a distraction, not someone you’re really interested in.
  5. You miss the excitement of talking to someone. There’s something exciting about receiving a “good morning” text for the first time. The best part of a new relationship is experiencing all the “dating firsts.” The first time he calls you on the phone, the first time you meet his parents, the list goes on and on! But here’s the thing, you can only experience these firsts with a new guy. You’ve dated your ex before, the firsts are dead — you’ll only have seconds from here on out. Your ex isn’t someone new, so don’t recycle him.
  6. You don’t think about him when you’re busy. He only crosses your mind when you’re alone — either single or friendless. He’s an afterthought and you know it! You don’t think about him when you’re on a date, hanging out with friends, or at the gym. Heck, you forget he even exists until he randomly tweets something. There are some exes that actually consume your thoughts, but he isn’t one of them. He’s the ex you go back to whenever you need casual sex — nothing more, nothing less.
  7. He’s in a new relationship. You were doing your usual social media stalking and you decided to mosey on over to his Facebook page — BIG MISTAKE! His status now reads, “In a relationship!” Naturally, you have to scroll through his girlfriend’s Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and LinkedIn. You find out that his new squeeze is gorgeous, successful, and blonde. You’re jealous, but it’s not because you want him back — you’re pissed off that he’s dating someone who isn’t a step down from you. The only reason you suddenly want him back is because he’s taken by some low key goddess.
  8. He used to text you all the time. He wasn’t a bad boyfriend when you two were together, but he was way more attentive when you stopped dating. He called CONSTANTLY after you guys broke up — he’d ask about your day, your family, even your dog. And now, he’s M.I.A! His obsession for you is gone because he’s too preoccupied with “Sarah” — he’s over you, and that’s why you want to reach out to him.
  9. He never really gave you butterflies. Your friends were surprised you two were even together. He was dull and certainly not your type. You’re spontaneous and exciting, whereas he couldn’t go to dinner without making a reservation (not even Chili’s). If you really think about your past relationship, you’ll realize it’s something you don’t want again. You can try and convince yourself all you want that something was “there” between you two. “If only I had given him a real shot, we could’ve had something real” — nonsense! Don’t lie to yourself. He wasn’t your type — you’ll find someone who is.
  10. You love being in a relationship. You just love love! You’re the kind of person who’s always in a relationship. Either you’re dating someone, talking to them, or just having sex — a guy always has a role in your life. Screw that! Let’s say you and your ex start dating again. You’ll just break up with him the second you find someone better. It’s time to stop replacing guys one after the other. Take a break from having a guy in your life and try actually being single for more than a week — I think you’ll like it!
Jordan White is a writer based in Scottsdale, Arizona with more than 8 years of experience. She graduated from Northern Arizona University with a degree in Rhetoric and Creative Writing in 2015 and while there, she wrote for The Daily Wildcat. She has since written for sites including FanBread, and, of course, Bolde. You can find about more her on Facebook. She has a passion for giving her audience something to laugh about and despises the heat more than anything.