The Honeymoon Stage Is Great, But What Comes After It Is Even Better

Everyone loves the honeymoon period, but what about when it’s over? When the butterflies settle and the rose-colored glasses come off, is it really the end of all of the good stuff? I don’t think so—here’s why.

  1. There is a special type of intimacy that can only come from being with someone for a long time. Intimacy and lust are two very different things. There’s something to be said about being able to lie in bed with someone, not have sex, and still feel their love for you radiating off of them. There’s a peace that comes with finding someone you can just be with. That type of intimacy is hard to come by and only comes with time.
  2. You worry less about how you look and more about what matters. I’m not saying you just let yourself go when you get comfortable, I’m just saying there’s something honest about showing up to your partner’s place in sweatpants with no makeup on because you’re just going to have dinner and watch a movie.
  3. You’re free to be really honest with each other. Again, I’m not saying you lied to each other in the beginning, but when your partner suggests watching a movie you really aren’t interested in, you can say it instead of pretending you’re game just to seem cool. There’s no longer this pressure to do absolutely everything together and love everything your partner loves to do, watch, or eat. You can be 100% you and it’s great.
  4. Not having sex all the time is kind of nice. Maybe you had sex like rabbits during the first six months of your relationship and don’t anymore, but when you do have it, the sex is awesome. You’ve spent enough time in bed with this person that you both know what the other likes. That’s REALLY nice.
  5. You’re comfortable enough in your relationship to get upset. Things don’t really bother you much in the beginning because you’re so in love, but you also want to seem really chill and not rock the boat. Fast forward a year and that changes. You don’t worry that a minor disagreement (or a major blowout) is going to lead to a breakup, so if you feel upset, you let your partner know and vice versa.
  6. You get to get back to your life. During those first few months with someone, it’s so easy to get lost in each other. You spend all of your time with them and even when you aren’t physically together, you’re texting and doing everything else to stay connected 24/7. In the meantime, the world keeps spinning. Your friends have had things going on, your family, your job, your hobbies and social life—these things all tend to go on the back burner when you’re busy falling in love. You had a life before you fell in love, and it’s nice to get back in touch with you.
  7. You get to have two families. At the beginning of a relationship, the first time you meet the parents is always a little scary because you wonder what they’ll think of you. When the months tick by and you’re still a constant in their kid’s life, you get to come into the fold. You’re one of the family and it feels great.
  8. You stop getting jealous. It’s easy to be a bit insecure when you’re starting out with someone. You don’t know how serious it is or if they see you in their future, so it’s easy to get jealous when you see them talking to someone else or setting up a coffee date with an old friend. When you get past all that and know that at the end of each day, you’re the one they love, all that other stuff is just nonsense.
  9. Silence is never uncomfortable. You’re in the car heading to dinner, on a road trip, or sitting in the living room with a book. There isn’t this need to fill the space with talk and questions and needing and wanting to know everything about them that’s ever happened. When you finally do know all of those things, or at least a good solid bit of them, you can just enjoy each other’s company in peace.
  10. You know all of each other’s quirks, faults, and insecurities. You know each other. You know what to do and not to when the other is having a bad day. You know exactly what will make them laugh and make them angry. And at the end of the day, having someone truly know you—and love you for it—is a beautiful thing.
I'm 29 years old and live in the beautiful Okanagan Valley of British Columbia with my 4 year old dog, Pongo. I went to the University of Victoria to pursue my love of all things writing/reading and walked away with my Bachelor's Degree in English. I fell out of touch with it for a while but I'm back doing what sets my soul on fire.